https://gmatclub.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/2015-06-16_19-29-30-150x150.png By Adam Hoff, Amerasia Consulting Group This is a post I write basically every year because it comes from what I'm seeing each round, every day, on basically every application. That drum beat is really rigid, hard-to-read Why School X sections on essays. I give the same note to every single client so now I'm giving it to everybody: the simplest and most important thing you can do to improve your Why School X portion of career goals essay is to personalize any and all content. This is a great way to avoid writing something off-putting, as well as a quick and easy method for making your essays warmer, more personal, and easier to connect with. So, what do I mean by "personalizing" this part of the app? Simple: make anything you write about the school specific to you, your experience, your desires, or what you require from a program. Never just state absolutes, generalities, or even known truths and facts - always make them personally-held viewpoints. Examples are the best way to understand this (after the jump): Example #1 GOOD - "I am seeking an intense MBA experience, which is why INSEAD is my top choice." BAD - "INSEAD is one of the most intense MBA programs in the world." WHY - The first sentence is a statement about what you want (an intense experience), which is used as justification for pursuing the school. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong in your assessment, so long as you believe it and can then base a decision on that belief. Whereas in the second sentence, you are simply stating a fact. There are multiple problems with this: A) you might be wrong, B) even if you are right it might sound lecturing (which can irritate a reader who is far more of an expert on the subject than you are), or C) even if you are right and the reader is not mildly irritated, you still miss a chance to express something about you. Anything in any essay that doesn't tell the reader more about you, your world, and what you want is wasted space. Example #2 Good - "One thing that drew me to Duke right away was the small class size, which has always been the ideal setting for me to grow and learn." BAD - "Small class sizes are the best way to learn, which is why I love Duke." WHY - This one has a wrinkle, which is that the "bad" sentence sort of seems to personalize the statement with the "why I love Duke" part. The problem is that the revelation is still not based on a personal belief, but rather a statement of fact. Indeed, this statement of fact is even more egregious than the INSEAD statement above because it's offering up as concrete fact something that is highly debatable. Maybe large classes are the best way to learn. Maybe it's online. Maybe it's one-on-one. Who are you to say? Who am I to say? None of us are experts in the sphere of ideal learning models, so this just sounds completely arrogant. Whereas in the "good" example, we see that it's simply a personal preference that is the basis for further interest in Duke. I could go on and on and write 10 examples, but two is probably enough. The main thing is to read every single sentence you write about a program and make sure that it's always personal - told from your perspective, your opinion, your beliefs, and your desires. If it dissolves into "brochure writing" - just statements of fact, no matter how benign or flattering to the school - there is zero upside and plenty of downside. It's a small thing, but we see it crop up in probably 90% of the essays we read, so it's obviously a fairly widespread problem. And while it may not be the entire difference between being admitted or denied, it can definitely be the difference between getting a good or a bad read of your file. And in our experience, *that* is often the difference between being admitted or denied. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you are interested in making sure your essays are personalized (as well as everything else they need to be), hit us up at mba@amerasiaconsulting.com .

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Quiet Night Thoughts

It’s a freezing night out in Fontainebleau, and I’m just home from another dinner with my friends. Except that this was no ordinary dinner. The end of each INSEAD academic period is marked by painful moments of separation as we... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Are you a hunter or an explorer?

This is a question that you hear right after arriving at INSEAD and it refers to the way you plan your career search during the MBA. Being a natural explorer but feeling I came to my MBA with a hunter... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: INSEAD: an ocean of opportunities

Visiting my country on the break and having time to talk with several professionals and alumni about future opportunities and challenges in my field was certainly even more exciting to continue my journey at INSEAD. It is unquestionable how many... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: The end of P3 – starting my 10 weeks out of Fonty…

It seems fitting that the first time in 2018 that I have the time and muse to write down my thoughts is at 4 a.m. at the busy and loud airport in Doha during a 12h layover with an Australian... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Winterlong

And just like that, P3 draws to an end, ushering the way to P4. P3 started with major changes in the student body: 17Ds were now gone, replaced by super enthusiastic 18Ds, and the 18J population churned as well –... Continue Reading →

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06 Mar 2018, 03:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: In the Depth of Winter

After two periods of sunshine and humidity in Singapore, I moved to Fontainebleau campus for P3, and only P3. People are questioning why I’m going to the France campus in such a bad season, but people probably don’t understand how... Continue Reading →

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07 Mar 2018, 00:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: First Impressions

“A stunning first impression was not the same thing as love at first sight. But surely it was an invitation to consider the matter. “ – Lois McMaster Bujold, American author My first impressions of my INSEAD MBA course, as I hurtle towards the... Continue Reading →

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09 Mar 2018, 03:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: How I chose my electives at INSEAD (and how you can choose yours!)

The first time I saw the electives list for P3, my thought was “I wish I could do all of them”. INSEAD’s curriculum is divided in two main pieces: the core courses, which lay the foundations of your knowledge... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Walking the line

On the brink of finishing P1 now, a delightful anticipation is building inside of me because I know that I will finally have some time to sit back, relax and continue reading (hopefully until the end, before the intensity of... Continue Reading →

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12 Mar 2018, 22:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: When INSEAD comes to you…

Six people, six languages and five different nationalities… just within the Recruitment Team! At INSEAD, the staff is as diverse as its student and faculty bodies. The Marketing and Recruitment Team travels around the world throughout the year to... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: The culture of feedback

Over the last weekend of February, three other classmates and I were in Barcelona for a three-day case competition hosted by IESE and sponsored by Roland Berger. Less than 2 months into the MBA and there we were: our first... Continue Reading →

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14 Mar 2018, 19:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Feeling At Home

Dear All, While discovering Phuket these past few days, I would never have expected to feel like I was back “home in Russia” as a child. This experience was so fascinating to me and it initiated so many memories, or... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Four ways to meet your future classmates

And suddenly your phone is ringing… After months of hard work towards perfecting your MBA application, all applicants are waiting for “the call”. I still remember when I got the call from France: “Congratulations you got accepted into INSEAD”. There... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: In Search of Home

As a girl of Indian descent growing up in Chicago, I was taught to regularly seek blessings from elders in the family, particularly my paternal grandmother. She would place her hand on my head, and pray that I would be... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Tell me your story, Christy

The INSEAD Women in Business Club have launched a « Tell your story » initiative across both the Singapore and Fontainebleau campuses that aims to present the current INSEAD MBA female students’ inspirational life-stories. This is the story of Christy Ma, MBA... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: About time

It honestly is about time that I wrote a post here. Period 3 was more challenging than even 1 and 2; I know most people will not agree with me, but it is possible to make it such with the... Continue Reading →

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This is really helpful for my application, thanks!

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Want to Work for a Start-up?

I am still fairly new to Singapore having just passed my eleven-month anniversary since arriving from Washington, DC. I regularly advise students to build relationships in the industry where they want to work. Relationship building can happen in many... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Discovering Israel, the Start-up Nation

Before the business trek during the school’s P3/P4 break, there has always been certain expectation on what Israel should look like. Probably due to the images often portrayed in news of conflicts, tensions, grief… it’s no surprise that these are... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Tell me your story, Ann

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