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Quote:
Pay-per-click web advertising is the best
investment an advertiser can make. In the eighteen
months since MacDowell's halved its television
advertising and doubled its web advertising, its
sales have grown by nearly 30% and it has opened
forty more stores to keep up with demand. This is
just one example of the fact that television
advertising is on its way out, and smart businesses
will continue to up their investment in pay-per-click
ads.

Hi,
ChromeChannel is not part of the argument. So why did you include it?

There is a very big assumption or logic gap in that argument which I guess the question wants you to point out.

The conclusion was about pay per click web advertising.
But the supporting premise was about doubling web advertising.
So the argument didn't tell if pay per click is the only type of web advertising. Or may be "pay per click web advertising" is a synonym for web advertising.
Perhaps what if the doubling of web advertising didn't even increase the pay per click type?

Okay if we assume that pay per click web ad was doubled with the doubling of web ad, what if Mscdowel opened 80 more stores to meet demand before the doubling of web ad.
We just assume the events after the doubling were better than that before the doubling. But that might not be the case.
The argument needs too many evidence to strength it.
The reverse of the conclusion could even be the case if some of the assumptions don't hold.

If there are too many assumptions in the premise, then the argument is more questionable on the possibility of the assumption not holding.

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Nevernevergiveup
The following appeared in an advertising brochure carried by ChromeChannel Communication salespeople:

Quote:
Pay-per-click web advertising is the best investment an advertiser can make. In the eighteen months since MacDowell's halved its television advertising and doubled its web advertising, its sales have grown by nearly 30% and it has opened forty more stores to keep up with demand. This is just one example of the fact that television advertising is on its way out, and smart businesses will continue to up their investment in pay-per-click ads.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.



The argument says that Pay pay-per-click advertising is best compared to television advertising, you cant use 'best' when talking about 2 things. It should be 'better' and explains the same taking, AWA writing must be formal. You are using an informal way of writing here. "explain the same" is informal. Alternate way is to mention "justifies the reasoning by citing the example of.." an example of MacDowell's case, redundant for a duration of 18 months. The argument seems to indicate that since MacDowell has grown by a vast amount once it doubled the web advertising, the same strategy can be applied for Chrome-channel Communication, issue at hand is not chrome channel communication but caters to the difference between the pay-per-click and television advertisements. This argument cannot sound good enough for the following reasons, bad way to end the paragraph. You can mention "Mentioned this way, the argument fails to provide sufficient justification for the conclusion and thus leads to mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.

Primarily, Any, any market will contain plenty of options and the argument does not mention any advertising methods other than TV and web. So assuming that Web, web advertising is the best without analysing the other options is not a good strategy. We have plenty of other advertising methods such as Paper, paper advertising, Poster, poster. How is paper adv. different from poster? advertisements etc. A weak paragraph. Always end your flaw paragraphs with something that will show that you have CRITICALLY analysed the flaw by talking about a possible way to alleviate this particular flaw.

Secondarily, you can use better transition words than primarily/secondarily etc by using Furthermore, Moreover, In addition to... etc, the author considers the case of MacDowell and opines that since it halved its television advertising and doubled its web advertising, its sales have grown and resulted in opening of forty more stores. He assumes success is because of increasing investment in web advertising but does not consider other factors that occurred in the same (same what?), try to avoid ellipses in AWA. Mention everything clearly or before 18 months, 18 months before. There can be many external factors as for instance the increase in sales and opportunities could have resulted because of the TV advertisements [color=#ed1c24]itself, themselves however little amount is invested, subject-verb pair is not correct. Entire sentence needs to be rewritten[/color]. There is no supporting information so as to inform, you can use better words ---> analyse/evaluate etc. why the author makes the causal argument. (Again, end this paragraph by talking about what would be a way to remove this flaw).

Thirdly, One, one cannot make perfect analysis by considering just one example and assume that television advertising is on its way out, and smart businesses will continue to up their investment in pay-per-click ads, no non-standard abbreviations. The reality can be much different and TV advertising may sustain by throwing the ads in between famous TV soaps, sopa operas or programs thereby gaining attention of the viewers. The web advertising does have no sustain as the viewers who do not to get disturbed by adds may opt for ad-blocking softwares that may ruin the plans of the Communication, communication channel if implemented.

Finally, As, as per the above mentioned considerations, the argument does not look strong enough to make an positive impact on sales of the Channel. advertisement. The argument is to, should be reconsidered after through, a thorough review of all existing advertising media and their impact on customers. Since, what applies for, to one need not apply to everyone, the channel needs to have its own strategy weighing all its factors and taking cases of similar channels for more information.


I have marked my comments/observations in red above.

Few general points:

1.) Make sure to hit atleast 400 words (4 paragraphs with ~4-5 lines should make it 400 words), it is 393 words currently.

2.) Use transition words to start your paragraphs. These words provide proper continuity to what you write. Refer to the image below.

Attachment:
Picture-5.png
Picture-5.png [ 39.15 KiB | Viewed 3806 times ]

3.) Refer to how-to-get-6-0-awa-my-guide-64327.html for how to start and close paragraphs in AWA. Memorize the different ways if you have to. There is no reason why you can not get 5+ in AWA with some practice.

4.) Go for GMAT write https://www.mba.com/global/store/store-c ... write.aspx that is made by GMAC and uses the same algorithm that GMAT is going to use to evaluate during the GMAT.

5) Make sure there are no grammatical errors (capitalizing 2nd word in the sentence when it is not a proper noun etc)

6.) Do give yourself 2-3 minutes at the end to check whether you are using standard English constructions. In your sample above, you have made many subject-verb and lack of a verb in a sentence mistakes. These errors will cost you dearly. Do take note of them.

I will give it 3.5
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Hi! Can someone please evaluate my essay? Thanks!

Prompt:

The following appeared in an advertising brochure carried by ChromeChannel Communication salespeople:

Pay-per-click web advertising is the best investment an advertiser can make. In the eighteen months since MacDowell's halved its television advertising and doubled its web advertising, its sales have grown by nearly 30% and it has opened forty more stores to keep up with demand. This is just one example of the fact that television advertising is on its way out, and smart businesses will continue to up their investment in pay-per-click ads.

Response:

The argument endorses pay-per-click web advertising calling it "the best investment an advertiser can make". To back this claim the argument cites the example of the company MacDowell's, which halved its television advertising and doubled its web advertising eighteen months ago, and has since increased its sales by 30% and opened 40 more stores. The argument claims that MacDowell's is just one example to prove that television advertising is on its way out, and concludes that smart businesses will continue to increase their investment in pay-per-click ads. I find this argument unconvincing for several reasons.

First, while it might be true that the reduction in television advertising and increase in web advertising caused the increase in sales of MacDowell's, the argument fails to specify whether the company invested in pay-per-click ads or not. While web-advertising might be more effective than television advertising, this example can't be used to conclude that smart businesses should up their investment specifically in pay-per-click ads.

Secondly, the argument directly claims that television advertising is on its way out from this one example. It fails to consider the consumers a company wants to target. MacDowell's might be company aimed at younger to middle-aged consumers who spend a lot of their time on the web, however, a company targeting the older consumers, who don't spend little, if any, time surfing the web, would not benefit from web advertising the way MacDowell's did.

In addition, the argument fails to consider some other factors that might have led to the increase in sales of MacDowell's, for example, better product quality, decreased prices etc. that draw a consumer to the product. The argument gives the entire credit to advertising changes that MacDowell's made.

I believe the argument would become much more convincing if it specified the kind of web advertising MacDowell's invested in. It should also include statistics the targeted age groups for a particular product of a company. The argument should also address the effects of other factors that might have led to the increase in sales of MacDowell's.
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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

samyakj1412
Hi! Can someone please evaluate my essay? Thanks!

Prompt:

The following appeared in an advertising brochure carried by ChromeChannel Communication salespeople:

Pay-per-click web advertising is the best investment an advertiser can make. In the eighteen months since MacDowell's halved its television advertising and doubled its web advertising, its sales have grown by nearly 30% and it has opened forty more stores to keep up with demand. This is just one example of the fact that television advertising is on its way out, and smart businesses will continue to up their investment in pay-per-click ads.

Response:

The argument endorses pay-per-click web advertising calling it "the best investment an advertiser can make". To back this claim the argument cites the example of the company MacDowell's, which halved its television advertising and doubled its web advertising eighteen months ago, and has since increased its sales by 30% and opened 40 more stores. The argument claims that MacDowell's is just one example to prove that television advertising is on its way out, and concludes that smart businesses will continue to increase their investment in pay-per-click ads. I find this argument unconvincing for several reasons.

First, while it might be true that the reduction in television advertising and increase in web advertising caused the increase in sales of MacDowell's, the argument fails to specify whether the company invested in pay-per-click ads or not. While web-advertising might be more effective than television advertising, this example can't be used to conclude that smart businesses should up their investment specifically in pay-per-click ads.

Secondly, the argument directly claims that television advertising is on its way out from this one example. It fails to consider the consumers a company wants to target. MacDowell's might be company aimed at younger to middle-aged consumers who spend a lot of their time on the web, however, a company targeting the older consumers, who don't spend little, if any, time surfing the web, would not benefit from web advertising the way MacDowell's did.

In addition, the argument fails to consider some other factors that might have led to the increase in sales of MacDowell's, for example, better product quality, decreased prices etc. that draw a consumer to the product. The argument gives the entire credit to advertising changes that MacDowell's made.

I believe the argument would become much more convincing if it specified the kind of web advertising MacDowell's invested in. It should also include statistics the targeted age groups for a particular product of a company. The argument should also address the effects of other factors that might have led to the increase in sales of MacDowell's.
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