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omizzle
Joined: 01 Feb 2017
Last visit: 01 Feb 2018
Posts: 54
Own Kudos:
Given Kudos: 3
Location: United States (NY)
Concentration: Real Estate, International Business
Schools: HBS '20 Wharton '20 Stanford '20
GPA: 3.4
WE:Investment Banking (Finance: Investment Banking)
24 Jun 2017, 21:10
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Hi everyone,
Took a GMAT Prep test today and would like some feedback on my essay. This is only the second essay I've done (I didn't realize the GMAT Prep software didn't save it the first time).
Any feedback would be helpful. Thank you.
Prompt:
Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.
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My essay:
The argument presented states that because coffee drinkers consume more coffee with age and cola drinkers drink less cola as they age, the company should transfer its investment from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee. The reasoning presented in this argument is flawed for several reasons, which are discussed in more detail below.
Firstly, the argument mentions that the average coffee drinker’s consumption increases from age 10 to age 60 and it remains “high” thereafter. One issue is that the prompt doesn’t define the meaning of “high”, so when the prompt says “after age 60, coffee consumption remains ‘high’”, we do not know the meaning of this (e.g. “high” could mean 5 cups per day or 1 cup per week). Additionally, the argument does not present any information on the amount of cola being consumed, so it is difficult to draw any meaningful conclusions from this information.
Secondly, the argument is contrasting trends between the cola drinker’s consumption (which decreases over time) and coffee drinker’s consumption (which increases over time). However, the reader cannot draw any conclusions on the overall demand of either coffee or cola because we do not know the number of cola drinkers and coffee drinkers. It is possible that there are so many more cola drinkers than coffee drinkers that even though the average consumption per cola drinker decreases over time, the amount of cola being consumed will still be higher than the amount of coffee being consumed.
Lastly, the argument states that the number of “older” adults will increase significantly over the next 20 years, though does explain what that means or fully defines the impact that could have on the drinks. Additionally, there is no mention of the number of younger drinkers (for either cola or coffee). It is possible that while the number of older adults will increase, it is also possible that the number of 10 year olds will also increase and offset the number of older drinkers.
It is for the reasons I have outlined above that the argument is flawed and cannot be used as a basis for the recommendation presented.
---
Thanks in advance!
Took a GMAT Prep test today and would like some feedback on my essay. This is only the second essay I've done (I didn't realize the GMAT Prep software didn't save it the first time).
Any feedback would be helpful. Thank you.
Prompt:
Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.
---
My essay:
The argument presented states that because coffee drinkers consume more coffee with age and cola drinkers drink less cola as they age, the company should transfer its investment from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee. The reasoning presented in this argument is flawed for several reasons, which are discussed in more detail below.
Firstly, the argument mentions that the average coffee drinker’s consumption increases from age 10 to age 60 and it remains “high” thereafter. One issue is that the prompt doesn’t define the meaning of “high”, so when the prompt says “after age 60, coffee consumption remains ‘high’”, we do not know the meaning of this (e.g. “high” could mean 5 cups per day or 1 cup per week). Additionally, the argument does not present any information on the amount of cola being consumed, so it is difficult to draw any meaningful conclusions from this information.
Secondly, the argument is contrasting trends between the cola drinker’s consumption (which decreases over time) and coffee drinker’s consumption (which increases over time). However, the reader cannot draw any conclusions on the overall demand of either coffee or cola because we do not know the number of cola drinkers and coffee drinkers. It is possible that there are so many more cola drinkers than coffee drinkers that even though the average consumption per cola drinker decreases over time, the amount of cola being consumed will still be higher than the amount of coffee being consumed.
Lastly, the argument states that the number of “older” adults will increase significantly over the next 20 years, though does explain what that means or fully defines the impact that could have on the drinks. Additionally, there is no mention of the number of younger drinkers (for either cola or coffee). It is possible that while the number of older adults will increase, it is also possible that the number of 10 year olds will also increase and offset the number of older drinkers.
It is for the reasons I have outlined above that the argument is flawed and cannot be used as a basis for the recommendation presented.
---
Thanks in advance!
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