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Sample essay with comments?

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Sample essay with comments? [#permalink]

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New post 30 Jan 2017, 12:50
I wanted to know the value-add offered by admission consulting services and to do an assessment wanted to see the level of details or feedback included in the comments. Please share a sample before and after essay with comments.

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Stratus Admissions Consultant
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Location: United States
Concentration: Marketing, Organizational Behavior
Schools: Kellogg
GPA: 3.67
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Re: Sample essay with comments? [#permalink]

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New post 30 Jan 2017, 13:34
Phrase88 wrote:
I wanted to know the value-add offered by admission consulting services and to do an assessment wanted to see the level of details or feedback included in the comments. Please share a sample before and after essay with comments.

Sounds like you want to see the special sauce... before buying! But here's the thing... I can't put someone's private work on a forum to betray that trust just to convince you we can add value! We always put our clients first and I can't throw a former client under the bus just to get a new one! But here's what we can do... I encourage you to contact our site for a free consult- and you can talk with me or with another counselor and we can tell you all about what we do! And if you want to speak to former clients who can tell you exactly how we helped them tell their best story- we can do that too! https://stratusprep.com/admissions/busi ... b-visitor/
Here's a quote from one of my former clients:I applied for my MBA after only 2 years of work experience so I knew I would need help developing my story. I did initial consultations with a lot of programs but Stratus was one of the few who believed I could do my MBA despite having only a few years of work experience and a biology background.

Donna and the Stratus team helped me overcome my low work experience to not only get admitted to 3 of the 4 schools I applied to but also receive scholarships to all of them.

Donna was easily accessible via email or phone and responded to my inquiries within a few hours. With her help, I was less stressed and was able to finish applications well before the deadline. Donna went above and beyond to help me not only with applications and school choices but also with interviews. She even took the time to meet me in person before an on-campus interview and coached me in person.

I had a fantastic experience with Donna and the rest of the Stratus team. They pushed me to dig deeper and present a story I was proud of. Donna was really invested in my applications and I am so grateful for her help. Overall, Stratus Prep exceeded my expectations and I would definitely recommend them, especially Donna to anyone who is applying for business school. I’m not sure I would have gotten in without her help.
And you can go to our GMAT reviews to see that we have a lot of really talented counselors- who don't do your work- but challenge YOU to do YOUR best work! https://gmatclub.com/reviews/stratus-ad ... -345345503

_________________

Donna | StratusMBACounselor | Stratus Admissions Counseling

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Re: Sample essay with comments? [#permalink]

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New post 30 Jan 2017, 14:46
Thanks for the quick response.

Appreciate your good work ethics. However, to be clear I was not looking for an "actual" client essay and missed explicitly mentioning it. What I was looking for is a sample (may be a paragraph) of a hypothetical essay showing the type and the depth of comments you provide to guide clients..e.g., a) If an essay paragraph uses excessive wordings and repetitions, are the review comments focussed more on actually providing a reworded paragraph vs. giving high level direction by saying that paragraph is too wordy and should be made concise
b) if there is a grammatical mistake, do you highlight those with a possible alternative or not?

I will connect with your team about the overall process.

StratusMBACounselor wrote:
Phrase88 wrote:
I wanted to know the value-add offered by admission consulting services and to do an assessment wanted to see the level of details or feedback included in the comments. Please share a sample before and after essay with comments.

Sounds like you want to see the special sauce... before buying! But here's the thing... I can't put someone's private work on a forum to betray that trust just to convince you we can add value! We always put our clients first and I can't throw a former client under the bus just to get a new one! But here's what we can do... I encourage you to contact our site for a free consult- and you can talk with me or with another counselor and we can tell you all about what we do! And if you want to speak to former clients who can tell you exactly how we helped them tell their best story- we can do that too! https://stratusprep.com/admissions/busi ... b-visitor/
Here's a quote from one of my former clients:I applied for my MBA after only 2 years of work experience so I knew I would need help developing my story. I did initial consultations with a lot of programs but Stratus was one of the few who believed I could do my MBA despite having only a few years of work experience and a biology background.

Donna and the Stratus team helped me overcome my low work experience to not only get admitted to 3 of the 4 schools I applied to but also receive scholarships to all of them.

Donna was easily accessible via email or phone and responded to my inquiries within a few hours. With her help, I was less stressed and was able to finish applications well before the deadline. Donna went above and beyond to help me not only with applications and school choices but also with interviews. She even took the time to meet me in person before an on-campus interview and coached me in person.

I had a fantastic experience with Donna and the rest of the Stratus team. They pushed me to dig deeper and present a story I was proud of. Donna was really invested in my applications and I am so grateful for her help. Overall, Stratus Prep exceeded my expectations and I would definitely recommend them, especially Donna to anyone who is applying for business school. I’m not sure I would have gotten in without her help.
And you can go to our GMAT reviews to see that we have a lot of really talented counselors- who don't do your work- but challenge YOU to do YOUR best work! https://gmatclub.com/reviews/stratus-ad ... -345345503

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Re: Sample essay with comments?   [#permalink] 30 Jan 2017, 14:46
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Sample essay with comments?

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