The failing of the book lies
not in a lack of attention to scientific detail but in the
depiction of scenes of life and death in the marine world with emotional overtones that reduce the credibility of the work.
When we have a correlative conjunction such as Not X but Y it's important to take note of the logical relationship.
The failing of the book = subject
Lies not HERE but HERE (basic logical structure)
So, logically, the actual failure is in the way the book depicts scenes with emotional overtones
A correctly states this logical relation.
(A) but in the depiction of scenes of life and death in the marine world with emotional overtones that
(B) fact that it depicts marine world scenes of life and death as having emotional overtones that
B really does reshuffle things. It's apparent that all scenes relate to the marine world, but the manner in which B presents the scenes implies that there are specific marine world scenes of life and specific marine world scenes of death.
Also we depict something WITH something else. I depicted him with vibrant colours for example.
(C)but in the depiction of scenes of life and death in the marine world, whose emotional overtones
Depiction of scenes...whose emotional overtones. Really this embodies the emotional overtones in the act of depicting itself when logically the way things were depicted i.e. "with emotional overtones" is the failure, not the embodiment.
(D)but in the depiction of marine world scenes of life and death, which have emotional overtones and thus
Similar to C. Secondly, the relative pronoun modifier "which" actually refers to "death", unless im mistaken, so I believe this should be singular "has"
(E)but in the fact that it depicts scenes of life and death in the marine world, whose emotional overtones
The failure isn't in the fact. Again, implied embodiment as in C makes this really hard to interpret logically as the failure is in depiction WITH emotional overtones.