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# When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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27 Feb 2013, 13:32
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76% (00:37) correct 24% (00:39) wrong based on 237 sessions

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'C' changes the meaning of the sentence.
However, 'E' keeps the original meaning and the second 'it' refers to the closest noun "Warby Parker"

stoy4o wrote:
sumeetkarora wrote:
Could you please explain why the use of "it" in choice E is not ambiguous?

A. it has approached Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, to help it for designing - second 'it' is ambiguous, 'help for designing' - is incorrect usage.
E. it has approached Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, to help it design - Correct Answer

E. "it" gramatically can refer to Warby Parker and to Google but logically can refer only to Google. A bit confusing, but I believe this is why e-gmat chose this question. You would need to understand the meaning first to determine that "it" logically cannot refer to "Warby Parker" (although gramatically it can). "Google produced "unchic" glasses" implies that it will be seeking someone else's help (aka. W. Parker's) to design the better glasses. It doesn't make sense to say "it" (Google) has approached W. Parker to help "it" (W. Parker) design better frames.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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28 Feb 2013, 17:11
egmat wrote:
stoy4o wrote:

E. "it" gramatically can refer to Warby Parker and to Google but logically can refer only to Google. A bit confusing, but I believe this is why e-gmat chose this question. You would need to understand the meaning first to determine that "it" logically cannot refer to "Warby Parker" (although gramatically it can). "Google produced "unchic" glasses" implies that it will be seeking someone else's help (aka. W. Parker's) to design the better glasses. It doesn't make sense to say "it" (Google) has approached W. Parker to help "it" (W. Parker) design better frames.

Perfect explanation @stoy4o! You are using logic to guide you. Very good.
Another thing here is that first occurrence of "it" refers to Google. So if logic allows, then the second occurrence will have more propensity to refer to Google.

Regards,

Payal

I disagree with using logic to determine whether or not a pronoun is ambiguous. There are OG questions that contain pronouns that are considered to be ambiguous, even though those pronouns can logically refer to only one noun.

For an example of this, look at the official explanation for the "chambers inside the pyramid of the Pharaoh Menkaure at Giza" question (OG13 SC #8). The official explanation considers C and D to have an ambiguous pronoun, even though it makes no logical sense to have tourists exhaling moisture and thereby raising the humidity within themselves.

I agree that logic is extremely important on the GMAT, especially for modifier questions like the "Declaration of Sentiment" one in the original post, but logic doesn't belong in the analysis of ambiguous pronouns.

While I am on the subject, I think pronoun ambiguity needs to have an extremely low importance - it is only relevant when all other grammatical rules and meaning concerns have been exhausted. The only consideration less important than pronoun ambiguity is brevity. Why? In the question above, "it" is potentially ambiguous according to GMAT rules; therefore, we should eliminate both A and E (B is questionable but not terrible because parallelism prefers the subject "it" to match the subject of the previous clause). However, that would lead us to the wrong answer. Instead, we can ignore that potential ambiguity and keep A and E because there are other reasons to eliminate the other answers.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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04 Mar 2013, 11:07
Hi Folks,

Hope this article helped you. Now here comes the detailed explanation of the exercise question:

Although Google has launched ‘unchic’ glasses with a computer processor, a battery, and a tiny screen to provide Internet access through wearable technology, it has approached Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, to help it for designing more fashionable frames

Meaning Analysis
• This sentence presents contrast.
• Google has launched glasses – wearable technology that provides internet access
o These glasses contain a computer processor, a battery, and a tiny screen.
o These glasses are not very attractive
• Even though Google has LAUNCHED these glasses, it has approached Warby Parker so that Warby Parker can help it design more fashionable frames.
o Warby Parker is an online eyeglass company.

Errors in Original Sentence
• Clause 1: Although Google has launched ‘unchic’ glasses with a computer processor, a battery, and a tiny screen to provide Internet access through wearable technology,
• Clause 2: it has approached Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, to help it for designing more fashionable frames.

1. Use of “for designing” is not grammatical. The correct expression is “help it design…”.

PoE:

A. it has approached Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, to help it for designing: Incorrect.
Error - Incorrect for the reason stated above.

B. Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, has been approached so that it can design: Incorrect.
Error 1 – The active voice verb of Clause 2 has been turned into passive voice here. Because of this change, the choice now fails to say that Google approached Warby Parker. It just says that Warby Parker was approached but the information regarding who approached Parker is missing.
Error 2 – The original sentence says that Google approached Warby Parker to help Google design more fashionable frames. However, this choice says that Warby Parker was approached not to help Google design the frames but “to design” frames, i.e Warby will now be designing the frames. This is a clear shift in meaning.

C. it has approached Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, to design: Incorrect.
Error 1 – This choice repeats the same meaning error as in Choice B.

D. Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, has been approached to design: Incorrect.
Error – This choice repeats both the errors of choice B.

E. it has approached Warby Parker, an e-commerce eyeglass company, to help it design: Correct.
This choice corrects the error of choice A.

Takeaways
1. The correct answer choice must contain all the information presented in the original sentence. (Refer to our new article that deals with this topic in detail – link…)
2. Omission of some words may lead to change in the meaning of the sentence. Be wary of such choices.

Hooe this helps.
Thanks.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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04 Mar 2013, 11:18
Thanks every one for participating in this question/poll.

Here are the statistics for this question:

Number of responses - 50
48% people answered this question correctly.

Also, for those of you who selected the correct answer, I suggest that you go through the official explanation to confirm that your rationale for rejecting the incorrect choices was sound. Remember its important to select the correct answer, but equally important is that you should reject the incorrect choices for the right reasons.

Thanks.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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14 Jul 2013, 03:24
1
Is this question really 700 level? It was the first question I got on GMAT prep
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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15 Jul 2014, 12:47
2
1
A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. - ambiguous it, A person can't be a call, Dependent caluse and main clause dont makes any sens

B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. - That starts a clause- verb missing in the last part;

C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. - had been is wrong here.

D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention. -It means that call was adopted. Original sentence says that draft was adopted

E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. - Correct choice
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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01 Mar 2015, 20:49
HII experts ,

i have a dount in CHOICE E

isnt there a SV dis agreement where THAT refers to sediments and not declaration.

i m in an impression that when ever you use PRONOUN 'THAT' the subject becomes the preceding noun and not the main subject ahead of prep phrase.

a declaration of sediments was adopted is correct.

a declartation of sediments that were adopted is correct ?

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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02 Jul 2015, 08:01
3
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848,included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

When -> Is to indicate a time frame and some other happened when declaration was adopted.
And also modification is a issue here.

When scoring runs for India, Virat didn't think anything apart from cricket
Here who is doing the action of scoring -> Virat so the noun should come at the start of the independent clause.
Hence we require the author at the head of the independent clause.

And the independent clause "included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement" is quite convoluted.

b. Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

Including -> is a verb+ing modifier (participle modifier) So we need the noun which can get modified by the modifier "Including a call for female enfranchisement" and that is definitely nor "draft "

So modifier error.

c. When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

We are talking about two parallel events and that is the reason why we have "when". There is no reason to use "past perfect" as past perfect is used to order two past events occurred at two different times.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.

e. When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

This is the least of the devil and hence correct

viper1991 wrote:
HII experts ,

i have a dount in CHOICE E

isnt there a SV dis agreement where THAT refers to sediments and not declaration.

i m in an impression that when ever you use PRONOUN 'THAT' the subject becomes the preceding noun and not the main subject ahead of prep phrase.

a declaration of sediments was adopted is correct.

a declartation of sediments that were adopted is correct ?

viper1991 : There is something called as essential modifier.

Consider the below example:

I sold a car with bose speakers that has state of the art air conditioning system.

What does that refer to? Speakers or Car.

Now somethings we need to consider:
That/which can jump over the modifiers to refer to other nouns. The rules for that are:
1) It should be essential modifier.
For example "with bose speakers" is an essential modifier and cannot be placed anywhere else.
2) There is no ambiguity in the meaning.
For example :
Speakers cannot have state of the air AC so it makes sense to modify the cars.

Hence that can refer to cars.

Similarly, you can apply here.

Let me know if you have further doubts.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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02 Jul 2015, 23:26
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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04 Jul 2015, 10:33
anewbeginning wrote:
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.

What is included "A call for female enfranchisement " or "female enfranchisement". Rule for Verb+ed (past participle modifier)is -> it modifies the closest noun. So as per the definition, "female enfranchisement" is included and not call. Yes, verb+ed modifier can jump over essential modifier and can refer to the call but both the meaning is possible and that makes the usage ambiguous.

Let me know if you have further doubts.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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04 Jul 2015, 12:22
kinjiGC wrote:
anewbeginning wrote:
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.

What is included "A call for female enfranchisement " or "female enfranchisement". Rule for Verb+ed (past participle modifier)is -> it modifies the closest noun. So as per the definition, "female enfranchisement" is included and not call. Yes, verb+ed modifier can jump over essential modifier and can refer to the call but both the meaning is possible and that makes the usage ambiguous.

Let me know if you have further doubts.

Can you please explain the second highlighted text
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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04 Jul 2015, 21:02
anewbeginning wrote:
anewbeginning wrote:
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.

Can you please explain the second highlighted text

D) A call for female enfranchisement , included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention

", included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, " -> is a modifier within a comma pair . So we can remove the modifier to check the sentence structure. Removing a modifier shouldn't impact the core sentence at all.

After removing the modifier, the sentence becomes:
A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention

that should refer to the nearest noun -> "female enfranchisement" or "A call" -> Either of them wasn't adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention

In fact, "Declaration of Sentiments" was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention as per the original meaning of the sentence

Let me know if you have further doubts
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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29 Nov 2015, 10:08
egmat wrote:
Hi All,

When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

The way this sentence is written the meaning is not very clear. So let us decipher the meaning first. We get some information from this sentence. Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the DoS. She included in it a call for female enfranchisement. This DoS was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848.

Error Analysis:

1. Modifier “When drafting …” is ambiguous in its role. We don’t know what it is modifying.
2. This sentence needs to be written in a way so that the meaning is easy to comprehend.

POE:

Choice A: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included n it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. Incorrect for the reason stated above.

Choice B: Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. Incorrect.
1. The opening modifier is illogically modifying “a draft”. The draft did not do the action of including the call.
2. This choice fails to say that who included the call for women enfranchisement in the DoS.

Choice C: When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. Incorrect. This choice fails to say who included the call in the DoS.

Choice D: A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. Incorrect. This choice lacks a main verb and hence is a fragment.

Choice E: When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. Correct. All the information is clearly given in this choice.

PS- Pronoun “it” clearly refers to DoS because the sentence clearly says that Stanton drafted the DoS, and when she drafted it, she included in “it” (DoS) the call for women enfranchisement.

Hope this helps.
Thanks.

Just a thought. In option C, where its mentioned that Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the DoS, wouldn't it be obvious who included the call? Do we have anything else, that makes it a wrong choice?

Regards
Swanidhi
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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29 Nov 2015, 22:19
swanidhi wrote:
Just a thought. In option C, where its mentioned that Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the DoS, wouldn't it be obvious who included the call? Do we have anything else, that makes it a wrong choice?

Perhaps making it very clear, as option E does, is better.

Also "the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton" is not as direct as "Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments". I believe that C is using passive voice. While passive voice might not always be incorrect, we should still prefer the active voice, if it is justified.

Also C uses past perfect tense "had been included" while E is entirely in simple past. Though I feel both are ok here, let's see what experts have to say.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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30 Nov 2015, 01:26
1
I think folks have touched on both the main problems with C, but I want to add some detail to them.

1) It's a problem not to say who included the call for female enfranchisement. Sure, it would be natural to assume that it was the author, but in that case it would be natural to say so. By not saying so, we seem to imply that some other mysterious person included it.

2) The use of the past perfect is a problem here. The past perfect tells us that something happened before some other past event. In this case, that would mean that the call was included before the Declaration was adopted. But why are we saying this? If we assume that the Declaration was written before it was adopted, then wouldn't all of its parts already have been included? Why are we going out of our way to say that this part was included before the adoption? After all, we only use past perfect when we particularly want to stress the order of events. (We wouldn't say "When King Lear made its premiere, Shakespeare had written it.") On the other hand, if the point was that the call was added later as part of the adoption process (and maybe not by Stanton), past perfect wouldn't do the job at all.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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30 Nov 2015, 03:15
1
The stimulus says clearly that the call for female enfranchisement was included during the time of drafting the DOS. C on the contrary, says that, when the draft by ECS was adopted, a call for female enfranchisement had already been included in it. The use of past perfect clearly alters the original meaning. As Sukanyar stated, E is more forthright and doesn’t lend room to such an anomaly.
E is the choice.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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19 Jun 2016, 01:16
E is preferred because it has a direct or active voice

A although seems correct but has indirect or passive voice that GMAT avoids.
Also A wrongly modifies "Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author"
Nothing was included in convention, something was included in the declaration of sentiment.

When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

b. Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

c. When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

e. When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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26 Mar 2017, 14:13
Choice A: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included n it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. => does not make any sense / cannot find subject, verb, modifier.

Choice B: Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.
1. "that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote" lies too far from "a draft"
2. what "a draft" has connection with Elizabeth??? According to the original sentence, Elizabeth is the author, but in this option, there is no word to indicate the relationship between them.

Choice C: When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. => wrong / what "it" in the end of the sentence refer to??? / passive voice

Choice D: A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. => incorrect grammar / no verb

Choice E: When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. => good one / it must refer to Declaration of Sentiment
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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27 Mar 2017, 06:51
micky577 wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.
(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.
(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.
(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.
(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

I think differently.
I think in C, "had been" is correct because this "had been" precede logically " was adopted". So, why C is wrong
This is hard one.
the reason for which C is wrong is passive. the focus of sentence is on who do including. this is main idea of the sentence. the passive in C distort the meaning by not showing the agent of including.

the problem is the lesion of difference between passive and active mode. we use passive when the action is the focus. we use active when the agent of action is the focus

very interesting point
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se  [#permalink]

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28 Mar 2017, 10:19
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. --- This is the in passive voice while E is in active voice. That is the reason that A is inferior to E.

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.-- altered and absurd intent. Cady didn't write the convention

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. -- altered intent. The female enfranchisement was included only when the draft was being made, not before.

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention. --- A fragment of a sentence. There is no action verb.

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. --- A perfect complex sentence in active voice. It refers to the draft. This is the best choice.

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Se &nbs [#permalink] 28 Mar 2017, 10:19

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