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I would be very glad if someone rated my essay. Thank you very much.

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Intern
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Joined: 08 Mar 2018
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I would be very glad if someone rated my essay. Thank you very much.  [#permalink]

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New post 17 Sep 2018, 13:11
1
I am aiming for 30 on TOEFL writing.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.

Since the dawn of human civilization, the education played the most important part in the formation of a personality. Education extends the frame of reference, world outlook, and general knowledge. Doubtless, a teacher must get on well with their students so that gain their credibility and love to the subject. Some people claim that a mentor’s ability to establish good relationships with students is more essential than his skills and professional knowledge. Nonetheless, I wholeheartedly disagree with such a view. From my perspective, a teacher’s scholastic attainments are the cornerstone of effective studying, which in its turn provides students promising future opportunities.
First of all, it worth considering the situation where students trust a teacher. Consequently, there would arise mutual affinity and sympathy, and a tutor would tend to give higher grades and scores even though the actual knowledge does not appear to be in accordance with the real intelligence. Furthermore, the issue can be exacerbated by lack of teacher’s ability to present the subject professionally and engender appropriate interest. Therefore, while basing my reflections with concomitant evidence, it is conspicuous that not always personal traits can allure the students and increase an overall level of the education.
Apart from that, the conventional wisdom holds that school is the place to study, not establishing relations with others. Educational institutions’ primary objective is to endow students with experiences and knowledge, to evolve the personality and ameliorate scholastic capabilities, while teachers must perform their duties properly, so that not detriment the system. When personal relations interfere, it is very hard to conceive the subjects, because when a student conceives the situation and understands that regardless of academic achievements he will receive a high grade, he tends to put less endeavorings in the learning process.
Taking into consideration aforementioned premises, I can conclude that due to the harm to the process of education and implicit benefits, educational background is a pivotal factor to student’s development and the establishment of personal relations between a teacher and a student may conduce to negative repercussions.
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Re: I would be very glad if someone rated my essay. Thank you very much.  [#permalink]

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New post 27 Oct 2018, 09:14
I was just wondering if we have to wholeheartedly agree or disagree. Can't we go on with a middle position. The essay that you have written is a topic where both sides can be correct to an extent, or perhaps one could supplement the other. Can you please help me on how are these essays evaluated?
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Re: I would be very glad if someone rated my essay. Thank you very much.  [#permalink]

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New post 04 Nov 2018, 02:36
Its a great attempt. I just felt that you are using too strong words to show your inclination towards a particular aspect. A little blend of both worlds would do wonders to your essay. :)
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Re: I would be very glad if someone rated my essay. Thank you very much. &nbs [#permalink] 04 Nov 2018, 02:36
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I would be very glad if someone rated my essay. Thank you very much.

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