Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for more than

Very nicely done. You easily score 5+ with such AWA. Great going

Posted from my mobile device

Hello, would someone please review my essay below. It is my first attempt on the practice test. Thank you so much in advance!

This article from the business section of a newspaper argues that there is more beyond a more noisy motorcycle that contributes to the success of Motorcycle X over the Foreign Motorcycle. Although the argument is supported by the reason that foreign cars often sell at least as well with less noise and that even in tv commercials the main selling point is not noise, there are a few holes in the argument that weaken the author's position.

In the author's first claim, they highlight that foreign cars often sell just as well as American-made cars, even though they may be less noisy. However, a direct comparison can not be made between a target market's interests for a car, and a target market's interests for a motorcycle. This is similar to comparing apples to oranges. Although apples and oranges are both fruit, and cars and motorcycles are both means of transportation, they each have their differences. For example, someone looking to buy a car might want it to fit multiple people and might want a sunroof, but still be able to drive around when it is raining. Whereas, someone looking to buy a motorcycle might want something that is just big enough for themselves to ride around on, while feeling the air on their face without the inclosure of a car. Given these examples, the comparison of car buyers to motorcycle buyers is faulty, despite where they are manufactured.

Another statement that the author provides to support his or her argument is that TV commercials for motorcycle X do not highlight the noisiness of the motorcycle. Again, the author makes an assumption about the target market of motorcycle buyers. TV is only one way of advertising a product. Perhaps TV watchers are typically a more suburban audieance and care about durability and sleek lines rather than noisiness. Other forms of advertisement for motorcycle X may have noisiness as the main focus of the argument. In the 20th century, many people see ads on youtube, social media, podcasts, and this may be where the motorcycle x company is highlighting noisiness.

An argument that the author could use to strengthen his or her position could be to provide evidence that American made motorcycles sell more than all other foreign made motorcycles based on survey data, that motorcycle-riding citizens in the prefer something from within the country. This serve as a strong point of evidence that noisiness is not the most important factor. Also, it greatly strenghtens the argument by explaining that the issue the foreign company she is referencing is not specific to their motorcycle product or company, but to all foreign motorcycle companies.

Additional evidence could be helpful to strenghten or refute the argument. For example, it says that the foreign motorcycle company has copied the american made motorcycle company, but goes on to state that they are different in noisiness. This makes the reader wonder what else may be different. For example, the underlying parts may differ in durability and quality. This as well as any sort of data pertaining to what motorcyclists' care most about would be helpful in determining why one is not selling as well as the other.

The author makes a few assumptions in her argument that there has to be more than noisiness that is attributing to the lack of sales for the foreign motorcycle company. One assumption that is made is that the target market for car buyers and motorcycles buyers care about the same thing. Another assumption that is made is that TV is the only advertisement that motorcycle company X has. The author could have further strenghtened the argument by providing evidence that American motor-cyclists prefer U.S. made motorcycles more than foreign motorcycles. Also, Other details could be provided to understand the quality of parts used for each to understand durability.

Good Luck

AWA Evaluation Request

Dear Sajjad1994 , request you to please grade my AWA attempt.

My final GMAT is in 3 days. Therefore, if possible, please grade it soon.

Thanks in advance!


Prompt :

"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers—some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track."



My response :

The argument states that the foreign company’s imitation of motorcycle X is not selling better than or as well as motorcycle X for reasons other than the fact that it is less noisy.
Stated in this way, the argument manipulates facts and distorts the view of the situation. It also fails to mention several factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion is based on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. The argument therefore has several flaws and is unpersuasive.

First, the argument readily assumes that the lack of the exceptionally loud noise of motorcycle X is not a reason good enough for the imitation of motorcycle X to not do well in the market. This is a stretch as the argument sounds biased and fails to evaluate the possibility that the greatest attraction of motorcycle X is it’s loud noise. For instance, if motorcycle X was compared with its other contemporaries that had better features and/or better price and it turned out that the consumers still chose motorcycle X, then it would evidently depict that the loud noise is the main reason that consumers purchase it. Therefore, the argument would have been much more clearer if it explicitly stated the desirable features in a bike, in order of priority, from a consumer’s perspective and substantiated it with some consumer studies or market research of some sort.

Second, the argument claims that since quieter foreign cars sell at least as well as American cars, there must be some other explanation than the loud noise of motorcycle X that the foreign company’s imitation of motorcycle X isn’t selling as well as motorcycle X.
This is again a misleading and uncorroborated claim as there is no direct correlation between a motorcycle and a car. They are two different entities with different functions, pros and cons and target market. It is unfair to compare these two and equivalent to comparing apples and oranges. To illustrate, the target consumer group of cars is family that consists of children, adults and people in their old age. Therefore, their selection criteria may consist of comfort, less noise, durability. On the other hand, the target consumer group of a motorcycle is youngsters that have different priorities and select their motorcycle on the basis of the way it makes them feel . Without any information on how these two are related, it is preposterous to compare them. If the argument stated that they have made this comparison on the basis of a poll from people of the same age group, that have the same priorities then it would have been easier to digest.

Finally, the argument concludes that since the television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its sleek design, and durability with voice-overs or rock music rather than its engine roar as the soundtrack, there must be some other explanation for the imitation of motorcycle X not selling as well as motorcycle X. What if this advertisement is meant to attract consumers that want the engine roar but also other features? What if majority people are already aware of the engine roar but unaware of the other benefits of motorcycle X? What if it is a marketing tactic to engrave a symphony in the mind of the consumer when they watch the advertisement at home, but remind them of the engine roar on the road ? What if they did use the engine roar in the advertisement earlier and it backfired because the consumers did not appreciate that noise in their home? Without answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that this claim is more wishful thinking than substantive evidence. Hence, the conclusion has no legs to stand on.

To summarize, the argument is deeply flawed due to the reasons mentioned above. It could be considerably strengthened if it mentioned all the assumptions and statistics used to arrive at the conclusion. To evaluate the merit of an argument, it is imperative to have information on all the factors. In this case, the priority of the consumers while selecting a motorcycle, the correlation between the sale of motorcycle and a car, the actual thought process behind the advertisement. Without this information, the argument is uncompelling and open to debate.

Good Luck

Hi Sajjad1994 Please rate my AWA

The argument presented in the above passage suggests that since a foreign company has copied a certain model of Motorcycle X manufactured in the United States, it has failed to attract motorcycle X customers. The pasage suggsts that the reasons could be something else rather than the missing loud noice made by motorcycle X since the foreign company never pays attention to it as can be gauged from it's advertisements. This depicts a flaw in author's resoning due to the following reasons.

Firstly, the author compares foreign made cars with motorcycle X. This is incorrect since people buy cars for a different purpose than bikes. Moreover, foreign made cars tends to be quiter than American cars has nothing to do with regards to the poor sales number of the foreign company.

Secondly, the author assumes that the advertisement practices adopted by the foreign company is fine and is not a point of discussion. What if the advertisement strategy adopted by the foreign company is itself flawed? The company might not have understood the American taste in bikes.

Thirdly, the old customers of motorcycle X had serviced their bike from time to time which helps to keep the bikes in great condition for a longer period than the foreign company had anticipated. This might have lead to lower sales numbers than initially planned.

Finally, the few customer who tried on their hands on the new Motorcycle x made by the foreign compnay wern't happy enough to recommend it to their peers or family. Hence, it would be helpfull to check on the after sales service or repairs of the motorcycle x provided by the foreign company.

Based on this points it would be helpfull to evaluate if the advertisements are in line with the American taste and the after sales service or perforance of bike is up to the mark. Since, the foreign entity is new to the market it should be cognigent of the fact that small mishaps can damage the reputation of the brand heavily and hence it should focus more on feedbacks from customer and the overall market.

Good Luck