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Pl rate my essay

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Intern
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Pl rate my essay [#permalink]

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New post 08 Oct 2017, 22:57
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

My attempt
In this argument author claims that corporation should consider city of Helios as new location or business centre when seeking new location for business. To support this, author point out that Helios is industrial centre, provide more than its share of manufacturing job and enjoying lower than average unemployment rate. Furthermore, Helios is attempting to expand his economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. This argument is week and fails to mention several key factors on basis of which it could be evaluated.
First, Argument assumes that available work force in Helios could support all type of corporate business. But, It is given that Helios has attracted mainly manufacturing and industrial job in past. It is unlikely that local pool of prospective employee would be suitable for other corporate job, For example, Skill workface in manufacturing would not be suitable for research and development job. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly state that how the available work force is suitable for research and development job
Second, Argument claims that Helios is enjoying lower than average unemployment rate hence corporate require large number of skill work force would not find Helios attractive. Furthermore corporate have to attract new worker from other location or would have to pay extra wages to existing customer to lure them from their current job. Neither of these alternatives seems enticing to companies seeking to relocate.
Finally, without convincing answer to above question, one is left with impression that clime is more of wishful thinking rather than substantiate evidence.
In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing. In order to assess the merit of certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case reason offered function better as reason for not relocation to Helios. Neither authors provide compelling reason for company seeking new business location.
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Joined: 28 Sep 2017
Posts: 82
Location: India
Concentration: General Management
GMAT 1: 740 Q49 V42
GPA: 3.92
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Re: Pl rate my essay [#permalink]

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New post 09 Oct 2017, 09:19
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siddh13480 wrote:
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

My attempt
In this argument author claims that corporation should consider city of Helios as new location or business centre when seeking new location for business. To support this, author point out that Helios is industrial centre, provide more than its share of manufacturing job and enjoying lower than average unemployment rate. Furthermore, Helios is attempting to expand his economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. This argument is week and fails to mention several key factors on basis of which it could be evaluated.
First, Argument assumes that available work force in Helios could support all type of corporate business. But, It is given that Helios has attracted mainly manufacturing and industrial job in past. It is unlikely that local pool of prospective employee would be suitable for other corporate job, For example, Skill workface in manufacturing would not be suitable for research and development job. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly state that how the available work force is suitable for research and development job
Second, Argument claims that Helios is enjoying lower than average unemployment rate hence corporate require large number of skill work force would not find Helios attractive. Furthermore corporate have to attract new worker from other location or would have to pay extra wages to existing customer to lure them from their current job. Neither of these alternatives seems enticing to companies seeking to relocate.
Finally, without convincing answer to above question, one is left with impression that clime is more of wishful thinking rather than substantiate evidence.
In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing. In order to assess the merit of certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case reason offered function better as reason for not relocation to Helios. Neither authors provide compelling reason for company seeking new business location.


First let me state that i am not an expert at this.

Lot of grammatical mistakes
Size is small.
Typos
Rest seems fine.
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Intern
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Re: Pl rate my essay [#permalink]

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New post 09 Oct 2017, 20:07
thank u...Mistakes noted
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Joined: 01 Jan 2014
Posts: 90
Location: India
GMAT 1: 690 Q48 V35
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Re: Pl rate my essay [#permalink]

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New post 09 Oct 2017, 21:16
grammar
matter
and needs more attention
Re: Pl rate my essay   [#permalink] 09 Oct 2017, 21:16
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Pl rate my essay

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