Below are the questions I responded to and my answer. Any help would be muchly appreciated, this is my first shot at the AWAs and my GMAT is tomorrow!!! AWA Argument The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods: “Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc. Olympic Foods has stated that, ‘Over time, costs of processing go down as as organisations learn how to do things better’, to demonstrate that Olympic Food’s long experience will result in minimized costs and maximized profits for the company. This argument is flawed for three key reasons. The parallel example used is for a technological process which is distinguished from a food process. The logical end is profit maximisation which does not consider other factors which impact profits, such as competition. Finally, while the initial premise is correct in regards to continuous process improvement, there is no justification as to how this is manifested in the Olympic Foods factory. Firstly, the technological process discuss has some important differences to the processing of food. The argument uses the reduction in film processing times and price over a 14 year period, from 170 to 1984, to indicate that significant savings in costs of processing can be made over long periods. However, cameras were a relatively niche and expensive technology in 1970, and the popularity of cameras and film increased significantly in the period referred to, which brought with it a large increase in demand for film processing. Hence, the cost reduction implied by the price decrease may be partly due to scale, and partly due to production efficiencies. The Olympic Foods example does not mention any scale advantages – also, it is unlikely that the demand for food has increased as exponentially as the demand for film. Secondly, Input prices are also a factor in evaluating the relevance of the film processing parallel. The price of the paper for printing photos also dropped substantially over the period, due to massive increases in demand and efficiencies in the process for manufacturing the photo paper. Conversely, the price of food has been steadily increasing over the last 50 years. The factors make the film processing example a poor analogy to argue that the cost of producing food is lower. Thirdly, the final stage of the argument in the Olympic Foods annual report implies that cost minimization is the key factor in maximization of profits. Some other key items that affect profits have been excluded, such as levels of competition, price of available substitutes and consumer demand. In conclusion, while Olympic Foods may have reduced its food processing costs over the last 25 years, the statements in the annual report extract do not substantiate this. The example given regarding film processing is poorly linked to the Olympic Foods business and no relevant example from the business itself is included – which would improve the argument substantially. A full description of the relevant market conditions, and the relative performance Olympic Foods against competitors would prove more substantive evidence to argue that Olympic Foods has improved processing costs. Based on this argument, it is unlikely that stockholders will be convinced that Olympic Foods’ long history will have a direct impact on its overall performance. AWA - Issue “In some countries, television and radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language and behavior. In other countries, there is little or no censorship.” In your view, to what extent should government or any other group be able to censor television or radio programs? Explain, giving relevant reasons and/or examples to support your position. Governments or other groups should only be able to censor television or radio to a limited extent. Free speech must be protected by a nation’s media outlets, but offensive language and behaviour can have a negative effect on the behaviour of the population, or some segments of the population, if no censoring occurs. The people watching television cannot always be trusted to make the best decisions on what they should watch. Television and radio are often examples to the rest of the population and maintaining a level of decency and some moral standards in this programming will benefit the population as a whole. Firstly, society is highly influenced by what is on TV and radio. There have been several examples of ‘copycat’ style offences, where the initial event is publicised or first shown on the TV or heard on the radio. The proliferation of media in mainsteam society provides easy access for anyone to these entertainment devices. Overly violent movies can provide the necessary impetus for a person to commit a crime, and the likelihood of the event being televised makes committing a crime even more appealing for some people. There have been instances where violent criminals have cited television programs or movies as a factor in their criminal actions. Other members of society are equally affected by indiscriminate access to violence and offensive behaviour. Children has limited ability to discern right from wrong, and during their formative years appropriate behaviour must be encouraged to create good habits and strong morals in children. Seeing violent police shows, swearing and fighting on television may give the impression that this behaviour is acceptable in society. This could be prevented with some appropriate censorship based on the hours that some television shows are programmed, as is the case in Australia, where violent movies are only allowed on television late at night. It could be argued that parents should have the responsibility for monitoring their children’s television viewing habits, but occasionally parents are not available to play this role. Finally, television and radio have an important role in promoting the ideals of a society. Having programming with strong values and morally upstanding characters can help promote the overall behaviour of a society. Mormons, for example, do not have televisions in their society because they are trying to promote a certain standard of behaviour that is not supported by modern television programming. Radio shock jocks, like John Laws in Australia, have the impact of lowering the general standards of the population in terms of their boundaries for disgusting and obscene behaviour, by promoting this behaviour on the radio. This effectively desensitizes the public to this obscene behaviour and makes it more acceptable and less shocking in everyday life. If Governments could censor this type of radio show, the public would be less likely to view obscene behaviour as an acceptable standard. There is definitely such thing as going too far, when free speech is limited. The ideal framework for censorship is one that is voted for an approved by the general population, which takes into account some different levels of censorship, and generally promotes free speech where it is not obscene or offensive. Australia has a very effective ‘Code of Practice’ model that requires licensing for radio shows and hands out fines to offending shows that breach the Code of Practice. Television shows are also assessed on this framework and required to maintain standards, with more relaxed standards at different times of the day – such as late at night, when children are unlikely to be watching television. Appropriately applied, censorship of television and radio programs is favourable and appropriate, and can benefit the community as a whole.

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daagh

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18 Jul 2020, 22:38

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Stereotyped, copybook essay. will fetch minimum of 5 out of 6.

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25 Jul 2020, 08:45

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Good reasoning applied.
Will definitely get 5/6 on real exam

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My first AWA essay ever. Please review and suggest changes that should be made for it to be effective:

The argument states that over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient .It cites the example of costs deduction in color film processing from 50 cent for 5 day processing 1970 to 0 cents for one day service in 1984. The same principle being applicable for food processing and also the fact that olympic food will be celebrating 25th birthday , it concludes that the minimization of costs and maximization of profits will happen. The argument in it’s derivation to conclusion assumes multiple scenarios for which there is no supporting evidence provided. Until the assumptions answers a series of important questions , the argument remains flawed and with no basis for it’s conclusion.

Firstly, the argument assumes that the reduction of costs which happened in color processing through 1970 to 1984 can happen for food processing without providing any relating facts. It does not provide any details about what brought the change in costs for color film processing industry. The factors ,such as the technological advancement in machinery used for color processing resulted in reduction of costs or whether the increase in costs of raw material used for color film processing went down, can be highly varying thus resulting in the assumption that same phenomenon can occur for food processing very unlikely. Their is further requirement of details for how the costs reduction happen for color processing to relate and thus apply that principle successfully to food processing.

Secondly, the argument claims that since olympic food is going to celebrate its 25th birthday, it can be expected that costs would minimize and profits maximize. The argument fails to ascertain if the change in costs happens gradually over a certain period of time or can happen suddenly over a short period. Both of the assumptions can lead to different conclusion, for example, the advancement in railway transportation in India has slowly reduced the costs for travel from one place to another over a very long period of time, credited to change in technology as well as increment in organizational efficiency while the change in costs of producing new technological devices such as mobile, laptops etc could be credited towards the rapid reduction in costs of manufacturing for their parts and thus reducing costs significantly over a short period of time. Both of these examples are applicable for their fields but until if the food processing costs can be rapidly minimized, the argument fails to conclude correctly. This crucial relation between minimizing costs and time period is left out in the argument

Finally, until the argument can answer the questions arising from its lack of proper justification towards non relating outcomes, the outcome is seriously flawed and lacks credibility . Thus the argument is nothing but a series of baseless assumptions until it provides justifiable content for reaching to its conclusion.

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Hey guys, please see an exemplar prompt along with my essay below. Please let me know what you guys think and rate it from 0-6. Thank you.

Prompt- “Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organisations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In colour film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5 inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since olympic foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimise costs and thus maximise profits.”

Essay - The argument that over a span of time, improved efficiency leads to reduced production costs for any company is logically flawed and and omit some very important concerns. There should be some more more research and evidence to substantiate the said claim. The argument simply states that this happens in general and fails to account for the specific needs of different industries as well as the companies in each. Not only has the author not defined a strict span of time over which the efficiency may improve (note the use of vague term “over time” instead of a specific time frame), but has also jumped various industries to make assumptions.

To begin with, the passage assumes that the price drop in the colour film processing industry from 50 cents to 20 cents is due to an increase one efficiency. What the author fails to note is that this change happened 14 years later. Throughout the 14 years, many things may have changed other than companies getting better at their job. For example, the cost of primary resources involved to make a 3-by-5 inch print may have fallen leading to an overall reduction in the cost of production. Had the author specifically mentioned and compared the productivity rates of the two years along with the prices, a stronger connection could have been made.

In a weak attempt to support the argument of efficiency improving time, the author adds on to the example, a second industry - food processing. It should be clear from the current economic scenarios that no two industries are the same. Demand and supply theories work best when the good involved are as specific in nature as possible. This is a good example of the fallacy that not all X are alike, in this case the X being industries. Considering that different factors affect the colour fit processing and food processing industries, we should not assume organisations in both industries to be improving efficiency over time. If, for instance, had the author mentioned that a particular company is involved in both the industries then it would support the argument further however, there is no real relationship between the two.

Finally, if Olympic Foods is claiming their long run to be a profit maximising strategy, it should have been mentioned that all other costs remain the same. For example, the cost of rent. In 25 years, it is highly possible that rent prices for factories as well as stores have increased. If we assume that their 25 years of running has reduced the cost of production due to efficiency, in order for profits to increase, all other costs (that do not involve efficiency of workers) should have reduced. Although, there is no mention of other costs being stagnant in the argument.

Because the argument leaves out key issues, it is not sound nor persuasive. If it included the items discussed above instead of solely stating claims without support, it could have been more convincing.

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09 Apr 2021, 00:38

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On a scale of 1-6, I would rate this 5.
Good organized and well criticized, however there is some scope of improvement on language.

Of course, this is my rating and evaluation, some other person might rate 6 or 4.

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16 Apr 2021, 23:45

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Using the unofficial AWA grader GMATAWA, here is what I have:

AWA Score: 6 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Please do not forget to use the Chineseburnt AWA Template!
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html

sadhanag05

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13 Aug 2021, 10:17

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Hello bb ,

Can you kindly take few minutes to have a quick look at my AWA please. I have my GMAT exam tomorrow and would appreciate any comments on the essay.

Thank you !

The argument states that since the costs of the processing went down from 50 cents for five-day in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984, the same principle can be applied to food concluding that Olympic Foods will earn profits by lowering its costs in its 25th birthday. This argument is weak as it is making several assumptions and as it lacks strong evidence that can stand on its ground without any assumption.

First, the argument assumes that a certain trend between the past and the future will always be true. By stating the example of what happened in 1970 and 1984, the argument is predicting the future with no strong ground as evidence. For instance, what if the Olympic Foods has already reached its potential regarding its performance? This can severely weaken the argument as in this case, Olympic Food will peak at its performance and cannot lower its costs with time. Clearly such correlation is very weak and has no strong grounds to conclude that Olympic Food will gain profits by improving its processing costs. The argument can be strengthened if evidence can be provided to prove that there are always new technologies that will help to reduce the processing costs.

Second, the argument assumes that the variation of costs in film processing is the same as in the food industry. This is another leap that one might question as we are assuming that when Olympic Foods improve its efficiency it will lower the costs thus gaining profits. The following analogy cannot be taken into account as food prices continue to go up, thus impacting the overall profits for Olympic Foods. Such analogy can be strengthened if evidence is provided showing a direct analogy between the cost of food and the cost of film processing.
Third, we can infer from the annual report that maximizing profits rely heavily on minimizing costs. Such statement assumes that the demand of Olympic Foods products will stay the same and stay stable, unless the argument provides an evidence that shows no other factor can improve Olympic Foods profits other than lowering the processing costs, such argument will be weak.

In conclusion the argument is weak and provide no evidence that can stand on its own. The argument makes several assumptions to conclude that lowering the processing costs will improve Olympic Foods profits. In order to assess the profits of Olympic Foods one has to take into account all the factors mentioned above.

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16 Aug 2021, 10:13

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AWA Score: 5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

PS: Always post the prompt with your essay.

Good Luck

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06 Sep 2021, 10:18

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Hi all,

Could you please spare some time to review my essay, my first essay and first time posting!

Many thanks in advance:

The argument claims that a downtrend of processing costs in the food processing industry is somehow correlated with the experience of the Company in the industry and that this correlation can be generalized in other industries, such as the food processing industry. Stated in this way the argument reveals examples of leap of faith, poor reasoning and fails to consider several key factors on the basis its conclusion could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies in assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore, the argument is weak and unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that the key driver of the reduction in cost in the film processing industry is due to efficiencies as organizations learn how to do things better. However, the argument does not provide any evidence nor additional information to support this claim and is it a clear example of establishing a correlation based on the causality of two events. For example, advancements in the technology might have helped to reduce processing costs or reduction in the supply prices might have led this overall cost reduction. The argument could have been much clearer if it contributed its conclusion with further information and evidence to evaluate that the main driver of these downtrend in costs was due to efficiencies gained.

Second, the argument claims that this downtrend can be generalized to other industries such as the food industry. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not provide any additional information. To illustrate, differences in these two industries clearly overweight its similarities, thus making the comparison highly less valid. For example, problems faced on the food processing industry such as spoilage, transportation and raw material prices variation might not be as important in the filming industry and thus, the food industry might face obstacles that are not present in the film processing industry. If the argument had provided additional details on the key factors that drove the efficiencies gains and how these factors are also relevant in the food processing industry, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing.

Finally, the author considers that Olympic Foods 25 years of experience might be the key factor to gain these efficiencies and start to minimize cots. However, this is again a clear generalization as we have no basis to assume that all the organizations can learn from its experience, improve and optimize its operations. In fact, the argument does not provide any piece of evidence that would suggest that Olympic Foods is positioned to achieve these optimizations. Therefore, without convincing answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and therefore is unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned all the relevant facts that we have outlined they were missing. In order to properly assess the claim of the author, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contribution factors. In this particular case, that Olympic foods has learned from these 25 years of experience how to reduce processing costs.

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06 Sep 2021, 10:24

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Where is the prompt?

jordiye

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06 Sep 2021, 11:52

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Sajjad1994

Where is the prompt?

jordiye

Hi, sorry i thought this post was only to talk about this specific prompt.

This is the promp:

Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organisations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In colour film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5 inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since olympic foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimise costs and thus maximise profits

Many thanks.

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07 Sep 2021, 10:47

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Hello jordiye

This post is indeed stipulated to discuss a particular prompt but a few new members without knowing the rules to post keep mixing up things by posting any prompt and essay in any post which creates a lot of confusion and mess. It is good you know the basics of the AWA forum rules. To keep things clear I ask the members to post the prompt with their essay, and I also think it is not time-consuming for anyone to press Ctrl C and Ctrl V

Coming to the main point, below is the evaluation report i have prepared based on your essay.

AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

jordiye

Sajjad1994

Where is the prompt?

jordiye

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07 Oct 2021, 00:32

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Dear Sajjad1994 and Experts

Please rate my AWA and guidance for further improvement.
Prompt:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

The passage states that the cost of production of a product goes down for an organization over a period of its existence as they learn to be more efficient, it also shares a limited one example about colour film processing has earned profit over a decade, with which it concludes as same principle apply to processing of food. This all information refers to upcoming 25th birthday of Olympic foods, by concluding its long experience has brought down its product processing cost and by selling its product at good same price will generate max profits.
but same passage fails to mention several key factors and limit itself to raise criticism and several questions to the argument, such as,
- can colour film processing be compared to food processing?
- does knowledge of a organization manpower play vital role?
- any competitor competition product factor?
- any geographic advantage or disadvantage and its selling network contribution?
- same product quality over a long duration existence has same impact on its customer? And lastly most important
- does quantity is the only way for organization for its profit generation?
It seems the argument is based on assumption, more quantity product at low cost will generate more profit, for which there is no clear evidence.

First, the argument readily assumes that "Olympic foods will generate more profit because of its experience". This statement is a stretch as number of factors not been considered as mentioned above, specifically just on Olympic food 25 years of experience, and not considering other factors as - has its product acceptance in market, its quality manpower skills, and its advertising quality and range to reach customer. For example, well know Nokia Mobile manufacturing organization failed just because not update itself with current condition, same flaw corrected by Samsung mobile manufacturing organization and today is one of the successful players in its segment. Clearly, this ignorance in passage, can lead to conflict for criticism. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly highlights Olympic food good past performance, its product acceptance in market, and competition over benefit rather than showing similarity with colour film processing. A ideal example would be coco cola kind of manufacture, which has good network, but same old unchanged product and is still certain level profitable.

Second, the argument claims that "once processing cost of product is reduced, then at same selling price, will generate more profit". This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as, it fails to consider the initial cost of involved, marketing expense done, its selling network profit, if any additional transportation cost and lastly the ingredient cost required to process its final product.
the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the past expense involved, current required investment and future marketing to attract more customer. however simple words before to introduce Olympic foods as "one of the famous" or "most reputed: or "highest selling" etc would have let to build good reputation about Olympic foods.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing that Olympic food will gain profit on its 25th birthday. However, with lot of scope of improvement indeed there is success can be gained provided other factors are considered well in advance and taken care. Such as marketing strategic, special discount to attract, special introduction of new product, launch by a celebrity etc. If the argument had provided evidence about other factors which will improve conclusion as good manpower, quality product acceptance, successful network available and less competition war, would have been really easy to conclude the passage, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing. In order to assess the merits of a certain factors, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.

Sajjad1994

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07 Oct 2021, 11:19

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AWA Score: 3.5-4 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 1.5/5 [Very poor format]
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5 [Needs to be worked on it]
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

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https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html

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15 Nov 2021, 05:18

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Dear Sajjad1994 & Experts ,

Please evaluate my essay and kindly give feedback on the same for further improvement. Thanks in advance.

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

Response :

In the annual report sent to stockholders by the Olympic foods, the author claims that over time, the costs of processing will go down as organizations learn how to do things better. The conclusion of the argument is based on the premises of the cost reduction in color film processing across years which in turn is compared with the process of the Olympic food , where the author claims that the long experience of the Olympic foods will facilitate minimum costs and maximum profit. The conclusion of the argument are based on non-sensical comparisons and assumptions for which there is no evidence. Hence the argument is rather weak , unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that over the time , the cost of processing will go down as organizations learn how to do things efficiently and better. It fails to mention other facts such as examples of other industries which have similar processes where the cost of processing has decreased due to increase in efficiency. Without supporting example or data ,stated in this way , the argument reveals example of leap faith , poor reasoning and ill defined terminology. The author fails to mention a relevant example to conclude that the cost of processing decreases with increase in time and efficiency.

Second , the argument could have been much clearer if the argument had established a clear relationship between the color film processing and processing of frozen food. In fact it is not all clear what are the process involved in the color film processing which can be compared with the processing of the frozen food. The argument blindly states that the processing cost of color film has come down from 50 cents for five days to 20 cents for one day. The percentage increase or decrease isn't explicit without which we cant mention that there is a significant decrease in the cost.

Finally the argument fails to mention one of the key factors based on which the argument could be evaluated. The argument fails to mention how the reduction of cost and maximization of profit can be achieved through more number of business years. The author fails to mention the ways in which the cost reduction was facilitated in terms of color film processing and how it is related to food processing industry. The reason behind cost reduction can be due to several reasons such as decrease in labor , material cost , investment in technology or machineries which resulted in increase in efficiency and decrease in time etc. The reduction in the cost due to increase in efficiency is not substantiated with relevant explanation or reasons behind the same. Without which , one is left with the impression that the claims are more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.

Without all the information, the argument is unconvincing and flawed. In order to access merits of the given situation , one has to have all the relevant knowledge and information. In particular case how the long business years can contribute towards minimizing the cost and maximizing profits is not substantiated by relevant examples. Without all the information , the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.

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15 Nov 2021, 07:13

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AWA Score: 5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

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21 Jul 2022, 05:46

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Hi Sajjad1994

Please review my essay:

The argument claims that organizations become more efficient as they learn over time to do things better that lead to reduction in processing cost. Also, it concludes that the 25th Birthday of Olympics food signify that long experience can enable minimisation of scots and maximization of profits. Stated in this way, the argument reveals examples of leap of faith, poor reasoning and ill- defined situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clever evidence. Hence , the argument is weak and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that organisation become more efficient over time as they learn to do things better without considering certain factors. This statement is a stretch as there could be technological advancement that have been adopted by organisation to increase efficiencies that is capital extensive and hits prices directly. For example, any organisation using computers to carry out their increased efficiency but at the cost of capex and opex of infrastructure. The argument could have been much clearer if it is explicitly stated if efficiency has some cost implications and might impact profits otherwise.

Second, the argument claims that all food industry will show same impact as that of colour film industry and a general application of theory can be extrapolated to all industries. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between color film and the food industry . To illustrate, reason for color film cost reduction can be different from mentioned and same is not necessary for the food industry. If the argument had provided evidence that the reason for cost reduction in colour film industry is experience and that has correlation with food industry.

Finally, reason for increased efficiency can be from different factors apart from just experience and need to be plotted. Also, extrapolation of same principle industry has to be justified before doing so. Without convincing answer to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. Otherwise, the argument remains open for debate.

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22 Jul 2022, 10:56

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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

Himan2209

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Hello from the GMAT Club VerbalBot!

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