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01 Jun 2022, 20:12
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Prompt:
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Response:
The argument presented here claims that in order to improve the productivity of the employees, their workstations need to be monitored for any other kind of activities like shopping or gaming. This way employees would not be wasting their time in anything other than work and will result in higher profits for the company. However this argument is incomplete and cannot be deemed solidly reasonable unless a few clarifications are made.
One of the underlying assumption is that, productivity of the employees depends upon the number of hours the employee logs in to work, and due to which productivity is negatively effected when he/she spends time in personal or recreational activities. The argument fails to take into factor the different kind of factors that come into play which are directly proportional to their productivity, for some people money might be driving factor, while for others it may be job security or rather the company culture. Moreover, employees might prefer to take breaks play games, surf social media and many more things, between their work to refresh their minds which in turn will increase their productivity. In order to bolster this argument, author needs to prove that the number of hours working without any breaks is the only way to increase the productivity, and dismiss any other factors. This can be done by describing the kind of work the employees do in the company or rather more information about the company culture and its economy.
Secondly, the argument claims that if electronic monitoring is enabled on the internet, then the company will be able to track the usage. But what if some employees are able to find a loop whole in this monitoring tool and skew the tracked data. The plan will fail big time. Hence, in order to strengthen the argument, author needs to prove that plan is flawless by describing more details about the tool itself and how it cannot be compromised by anybody within the company for their own benefit.
The third assumption is that overall profits of the company will increase only when there is a better ethic and this is achieved by installing softwares to detect employee’s internet use on their work computer. But what if the company was not seeing profits due to the fact that their products are not of good quality, or rather there was an economic stress due to which the demand of products have gone down. Maybe there is too much competition in the market and hence its tough to get profits. In such scenarios the plan proposed by the Vice President will fail. So, to prove the claim the author needs to provide more information about the company’s products, the kind of market it resides in, bring out a detailed study proving that due to employees slacking their work hours is the only one factor affecting the profits of the company.
Lastly, given that we do not know answers to a lot of underlying questions, the argument cripples and is unreasonable to overthrow any kind of conclusions.
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Response:
The argument presented here claims that in order to improve the productivity of the employees, their workstations need to be monitored for any other kind of activities like shopping or gaming. This way employees would not be wasting their time in anything other than work and will result in higher profits for the company. However this argument is incomplete and cannot be deemed solidly reasonable unless a few clarifications are made.
One of the underlying assumption is that, productivity of the employees depends upon the number of hours the employee logs in to work, and due to which productivity is negatively effected when he/she spends time in personal or recreational activities. The argument fails to take into factor the different kind of factors that come into play which are directly proportional to their productivity, for some people money might be driving factor, while for others it may be job security or rather the company culture. Moreover, employees might prefer to take breaks play games, surf social media and many more things, between their work to refresh their minds which in turn will increase their productivity. In order to bolster this argument, author needs to prove that the number of hours working without any breaks is the only way to increase the productivity, and dismiss any other factors. This can be done by describing the kind of work the employees do in the company or rather more information about the company culture and its economy.
Secondly, the argument claims that if electronic monitoring is enabled on the internet, then the company will be able to track the usage. But what if some employees are able to find a loop whole in this monitoring tool and skew the tracked data. The plan will fail big time. Hence, in order to strengthen the argument, author needs to prove that plan is flawless by describing more details about the tool itself and how it cannot be compromised by anybody within the company for their own benefit.
The third assumption is that overall profits of the company will increase only when there is a better ethic and this is achieved by installing softwares to detect employee’s internet use on their work computer. But what if the company was not seeing profits due to the fact that their products are not of good quality, or rather there was an economic stress due to which the demand of products have gone down. Maybe there is too much competition in the market and hence its tough to get profits. In such scenarios the plan proposed by the Vice President will fail. So, to prove the claim the author needs to provide more information about the company’s products, the kind of market it resides in, bring out a detailed study proving that due to employees slacking their work hours is the only one factor affecting the profits of the company.
Lastly, given that we do not know answers to a lot of underlying questions, the argument cripples and is unreasonable to overthrow any kind of conclusions.
02 Jun 2022, 04:00
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AWA Score: 4.5 - 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 4/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Coherence and connectivity: 4/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
22rashmi
Prompt:
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Response:
The argument presented here claims that in order to improve the productivity of the employees, their workstations need to be monitored for any other kind of activities like shopping or gaming. This way employees would not be wasting their time in anything other than work and will result in higher profits for the company. However this argument is incomplete and cannot be deemed solidly reasonable unless a few clarifications are made.
One of the underlying assumption is that, productivity of the employees depends upon the number of hours the employee logs in to work, and due to which productivity is negatively effected when he/she spends time in personal or recreational activities. The argument fails to take into factor the different kind of factors that come into play which are directly proportional to their productivity, for some people money might be driving factor, while for others it may be job security or rather the company culture. Moreover, employees might prefer to take breaks play games, surf social media and many more things, between their work to refresh their minds which in turn will increase their productivity. In order to bolster this argument, author needs to prove that the number of hours working without any breaks is the only way to increase the productivity, and dismiss any other factors. This can be done by describing the kind of work the employees do in the company or rather more information about the company culture and its economy.
Secondly, the argument claims that if electronic monitoring is enabled on the internet, then the company will be able to track the usage. But what if some employees are able to find a loop whole in this monitoring tool and skew the tracked data. The plan will fail big time. Hence, in order to strengthen the argument, author needs to prove that plan is flawless by describing more details about the tool itself and how it cannot be compromised by anybody within the company for their own benefit.
The third assumption is that overall profits of the company will increase only when there is a better ethic and this is achieved by installing softwares to detect employee’s internet use on their work computer. But what if the company was not seeing profits due to the fact that their products are not of good quality, or rather there was an economic stress due to which the demand of products have gone down. Maybe there is too much competition in the market and hence its tough to get profits. In such scenarios the plan proposed by the Vice President will fail. So, to prove the claim the author needs to provide more information about the company’s products, the kind of market it resides in, bring out a detailed study proving that due to employees slacking their work hours is the only one factor affecting the profits of the company.
Lastly, given that we do not know answers to a lot of underlying questions, the argument cripples and is unreasonable to overthrow any kind of conclusions.
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Response:
The argument presented here claims that in order to improve the productivity of the employees, their workstations need to be monitored for any other kind of activities like shopping or gaming. This way employees would not be wasting their time in anything other than work and will result in higher profits for the company. However this argument is incomplete and cannot be deemed solidly reasonable unless a few clarifications are made.
One of the underlying assumption is that, productivity of the employees depends upon the number of hours the employee logs in to work, and due to which productivity is negatively effected when he/she spends time in personal or recreational activities. The argument fails to take into factor the different kind of factors that come into play which are directly proportional to their productivity, for some people money might be driving factor, while for others it may be job security or rather the company culture. Moreover, employees might prefer to take breaks play games, surf social media and many more things, between their work to refresh their minds which in turn will increase their productivity. In order to bolster this argument, author needs to prove that the number of hours working without any breaks is the only way to increase the productivity, and dismiss any other factors. This can be done by describing the kind of work the employees do in the company or rather more information about the company culture and its economy.
Secondly, the argument claims that if electronic monitoring is enabled on the internet, then the company will be able to track the usage. But what if some employees are able to find a loop whole in this monitoring tool and skew the tracked data. The plan will fail big time. Hence, in order to strengthen the argument, author needs to prove that plan is flawless by describing more details about the tool itself and how it cannot be compromised by anybody within the company for their own benefit.
The third assumption is that overall profits of the company will increase only when there is a better ethic and this is achieved by installing softwares to detect employee’s internet use on their work computer. But what if the company was not seeing profits due to the fact that their products are not of good quality, or rather there was an economic stress due to which the demand of products have gone down. Maybe there is too much competition in the market and hence its tough to get profits. In such scenarios the plan proposed by the Vice President will fail. So, to prove the claim the author needs to provide more information about the company’s products, the kind of market it resides in, bring out a detailed study proving that due to employees slacking their work hours is the only one factor affecting the profits of the company.
Lastly, given that we do not know answers to a lot of underlying questions, the argument cripples and is unreasonable to overthrow any kind of conclusions.
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