Not a Happy Ending, 590 -> 490 (2nd attempt)

I apologize in advance that this is going to be a sad or might even qualify as a demotivating post for some, but I have nowhere to vent my feelings out so I'm using this Forum. I gave my first attempt in May this year and managed a 590 (Q44, V28). I was obviously not even closely satisfied with that score, but also felt that nervousness took the better of me (I was stuck at the first Quant question for nearly 7 minutes yet managed a Q44).

I took a break from GMAT after the first attempt till October, and probably that was one of the bigger mistakes I committed, as I broke the continuity.

Anyway, I had bought the ESR from my first attempt. It showed really poor performance in Geometry in Quant and CR in Verbal. I focused on these two areas well for my second attempt in addition to practicing official questions for SC, RC, etc. I felt my SC had really improved and was doing great on OG and tough official questions (till yesterday).

Cutting it short, today I went in for my second attempt at 11:30 AM Indian time and started off with Quant. The first 3 questions were done in 3 minutes, but I felt that I started getting really tough questions after that. I mistakingly believed that I'm doing great as the test is throwing tough questions at me and was way more relaxed compared to my first attempt. All that was a false belief, as I eventually scored a Q40. I cannot share the type of questions, as it's against GMAC policy but trust me they were way harder than the ones I encountered in first attempt (and now im doubtful whether GMAC probably gives one tougher questions in subsequent attempts).

Regarding Verbal, I felt as if I breezed till Question 16 but that definitely wasn't the case since I scored a dismal V18 (down from V28 in my first attempt 6 months ago). To be honest, I felt more negatively about my Verbal in previous attempt yet had a score 10 points higher then.

I don't know where I will go forward after this especially with Round 2 deadlines approaching. No prizes for guessing that I'm pretty much shattered and broken at this moment and I even contemplated suicide in afternoon, but didn't have Guts to go through with it.

Moral of the story: TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED. I took improvement for granted and instead of an expected 100 point increase, my score dropped by a 100 points.