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wasananimesh
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wasananimesh
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wasananimesh - To be honest, you need to put in some more effort on the AWA section. First, your essay's structure is not very appealing as though it is one big paragraph. Therefore, I'd advise you to check chineseburned template and create a customized version for yourself. Second, you most certainly need to increase the length of the essay. As written, your essay might not be scored very well on the actual GMAT because of the reasons I stated above. Typically, test takers do not need more than 2-3 days of time to come up with a template and then practice a few essays.

Chineseburned AWA template: https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html
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wasananimesh
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Thanks for the response!!
The points mentioned were really helpful and valuable.
I had written my GMAT exam recently and managed to score 5 on AWA!!
Although I have to rewrite the exam because of my low verbal score :(
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wasananimesh
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Hi,
Based on the previous comments, I have updated my essay writing format.
I am writing my GMAT exam in the next 2 days, so it would be really grateful if you could provide me with feedback on how I could improve my essay further.

Read the statement and the instructions that follow it, and then make any notes that will help you plan your response. Begin typing your response at the bottom of the screen. You have 30 minutes in which to complete the essay.


People who wear eyeglasses often need stronger prescriptions over time. For example, a woman in her 40s began wearing glasses on the advice of an optometrist and, in just one year, required stronger lenses. Furthermore, eyeglass and contact lens users report more eye-related problems than do those who wear neither. Given that a typical eyeglass wearer buys expensive new glasses every two to three years, people considering corrective lenses should instead invest in an eye-strengthening program, which could save them thousands of dollars over their lifetimes.


Discuss how well-reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

Essay:
---------------------------------------------------------

The argument mentioned above that the people should invest on eye-strengthening program instead of corrective lenses is seriously flawed. The argument omits some concerns that must be addressed to substantiate the argument. There are a few key assumptions made in the argument. The argument must consider other important factors as well without which the argument would be solely based on assumptions instead of facts.

Firstly, the argument is based on the generalization that the people who wear eyeglasses need stronger prescriptions over time and they invest a lot in corrective lenses. The example mentioned in the argument is about a woman in her 40's. Hence considering this example would make the argument flawed as the people wearing eyeglasses can be of different ages and gender. Age can be a very crucial factor on which the prescriptions could depend. A person who is at a higher age might require stronger lenses quicker than a person who is much younger.

Secondly, the argument states that eyeglass and contact lens users report more eye-related problems, but the argument fails to support the claim with the factual figures. It is quite possible that the people wearing eyeglasses report the eye-related problems more than the people who do not wear eyeglasses. The advantages and the dis-advantages of the eye-strengthening program must also be clearly mentioned. The argument must be able to answer the questions such as "How frequent would the user face an eye-related problem after the eye-strengthening program?" or "What is the lifespan of the eye-strengthening program?".

The argument just mentions a general statement that the eye-strengthening program would save thousands of dollars over lifetimes. But it fails to mention the cost required to maintain the eye after the program. The frequency for follow-ups is also crucial in understanding which case is better. Along with the above-mentioned points, the argument also fails to mention the side-effects caused by the eye-strengthening program and the age group for which this program is suitable.

Since the argument leaves out several key aspects, it is not sound or persuasive. If the argument included the points discussed above instead of solely basing the argument on the fact that it is better to invest in an eye-strengthening program than in corrective- lenses, the argument would have been more thorough and convincing.

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Moreover, It would be really helpful if you could let me know where this essay stands on a scale from 1 to 6.
Thanks :)
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wasananimesh - Clearly, you have improved your AWA performance. You may still want to watch a few grammar issues. That said, the structure of the passage is great. Also, I hope you are timing yourself to stick to the 30 min mark and using a notepad to write your response; any other medium may tweak spellings and grammar issues. Anyway, kudos to you on improving! When is your test scheduled?
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wasananimesh
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Thanks for the review!!
I ensured that the essay is completed within 30 mins. Moreover, I will try my best to avoid any possible grammatical error.

My test is scheduled for the coming Wednesday but I am still worried about my verbal scores. On the mocks which I gave recently, my verbal score fluctuated from 27 to 38.

Thanks for the help DisciplinedPrep :)

Abhi077 Thanks for posting the links!!
Going through these blogs would definitely help me in writing the essay.
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