AWA Score: 4.5 out of 6
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 4/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 3.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
avlachos99
Read the statement and the instructions that follow it, and then make any notes that will help you plan your response. Begin typing your response at the bottom of the screen. You have 30 minutes in which to complete the essay.
"People who wear eyeglasses often need stronger prescriptions over time. For example, a woman in her 40s began wearing glasses on the advice of an optometrist and, in just one year, required stronger lenses. Furthermore, eyeglass and contact lens users report more eye-related problems than do those who wear neither. Given that a typical eyeglass wearer buys expensive new glasses every two to three years, people considering corrective lenses should instead invest in an eye-strengthening program, which could save them thousands of dollars over their lifetimes."
Discuss how well-reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
Answer:
The author of the argument suggests that an individual should opt for eye-strengthening exercises instead of corrective lenses in order to save a great deal of money. This is based on evidence that the users of eyeglasses and contact lenses face more eye-related problems than non-users face, and the need to replace their usually costly equipment within short time periods. Nevertheless, the argument fails to document the usefullness of eye-strengthening exercises prior to recommending them, mistakes correlation for causation in the case of eye-related problems and flaws for representativeness in the case of the example that is presented.
First and foremost, there is no evidence to support that an eye-strengthening program is at least, or nearly as effective as eyewear equipment. In particular, the author does not mention how long such a program should last in order to be effective or how effective would it be, even, in the long term. Unless providing such information, one can merely assume that such a program would necessitate the use of eyewear equipment in parallel and by no means replace it, leading to no cost savings.
Moreover, the author is hasty enough to assume that eyeglasses and contact lenses are responsible for the eye-related problems their users report. It is well known that people who do have issues with their eyesight or eyes, in general, are the ones who use such equipment. Hence, it is no surprise that these same users report more eye-related problems, not due to causation but due to correlation. This evidence could have been better documented, had the other made a comparison between people with eye-related problems who use eyewear equipment and those who do not, despite being advised to do so.
Last but not least, the author mentions that people who wear eyeglasses need stronger prescriptions as times passes and presents an example of a woman that had to change lenses within a year. This kind of evidence falls short in two respects. On the one hand, it is not stated whether the same people wearing eyeglasses would not require stronger prescriptions had they not be wearing them. On the contrary, the might have needed stronger prescriptions in even shorter timeframes. On the other hand, the mention of a woman needing to change lenses within a year could be an extreme example not representative to the mass of eyeglass wearers needing stronger prescriptions.
All in all, the author of the argument falls for reasoning mistakes and fails to provide sound evidence for his recommendation to be well-documented. A flaw of representativeness, two cases of correlation mistaken for causation, as well as a completely missing evidence -how an eye-strengthening program could replace eyewear equipment- are enough to conclude that his recommendation is not to be trusted.
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