GMAT Question of the Day - Daily to your Mailbox; hard ones only

It is currently 21 Sep 2018, 13:02

Close

GMAT Club Daily Prep

Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track
Your Progress

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.

Close

Request Expert Reply

Confirm Cancel

Please check my essay

  new topic post reply Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  
Author Message
Intern
Intern
avatar
Joined: 23 Mar 2017
Posts: 1
Please check my essay  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 27 Mar 2017, 12:21
Ghost
One day Annie Soralli came quickly to the dressing-room with white afraid face. And she was shouting for her friends to close the door, because she saw a ghost in the passage, also she saw his face. Everybody get shocked and immediately they close the door. But, a tall girl said that there is no ghost and it is only a shadow on the wall. Another girl said that Joseph Buget saw him last week, he was a tall wearing a black evening coat, has a head of a dead man without nose, only a holes. However, Magy said don’t talk about him and one-day joseph will regret about his actions. The girls asked Magy for more explanation. Magy said that her mother knows about the ghost and the ghost don’t like the people who talk about him. The girls asked Magy form where your mother knows this information. Magy responded and said that her mother was talking to the ghost without seeing him in opera house, where the Box 5 was for the ghost, and he every day leaves some followers for her mother in Box 5. Magy again she said to the girls don’t talk about him, because he might be angry. From that time girls were speaking quietly about the ghost. After the performance, the girls went back to the dressing-room. A fat women with a white face enter the room quickly, to tell the girls about the death of Joseph in 4th floor with a rope around his neck.
Manager
Manager
User avatar
G
Joined: 20 Sep 2016
Posts: 114
GMAT 1: 680 Q49 V35
GPA: 3.99
Re: Please check my essay  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 02 Apr 2017, 03:09
This is not a toefl essay, right?
Intern
Intern
avatar
B
Joined: 09 Mar 2017
Posts: 35
Concentration: Accounting
GMAT 1: 730 Q48 V41
GPA: 3.64
Re: Please check my essay  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 02 Apr 2017, 17:49
So, there are a lot of minor grammatical issues here with word order for adjectives/adverbs/modifiers. For example, in the first sentence, “came quickly to the dressing-room” should be “came into the dressing-room quickly). You have a number of comma splice (using a comma between two independent clauses, instead of a period, colon, or semi-colon.


One day, Annie Soralli came into the dressing-room quickly, her face with in fear. [white afraid doesn’t work as an adjectival descriptor]. She was shouting for her friends to close the door, because she saw a ghost in the passage. Everybody was shocked, and they immediately closed the door. [need to change to past tense to stay consistent with the previous sentence. Also, everybody is singular -was not is; gets not get. Was is just better idiomatically than gets]. But a tall girl said that there was no ghost, that it was only a shadow on the wall. Another girl said that Joseph Buget saw him last week - he was a tall man [word missing here] wearing a black evening coat, he had the head of a dead man without a nose, only holes. However, Magy said not to talk about him, that one day Joseph would regret his actions. The girls asked Many for more explanation. Magy said that her mother knew about the ghost, and the ghost didn’t like people talking about him. The girls asked Magy how her mother knew that. Magy responded and said that her mother talked to the ghost without (being able to?) see him, in the opera house in box number 5. Every day he left some followers (unclear?) there for her mother. Many again warned the girls not to talk about him, because he might be angry. At (?) that time, the girls were speaking quietly about the ghost. After the performance, they went back to the dressing room. A fat woman (singular) with a white face entered (past tense) the room quickly to tell the girls that Joseph had died on the fourth floor, found with a rope around his neck.
Manager
Manager
avatar
G
Joined: 23 Feb 2017
Posts: 64
GMAT 1: 740 Q50 V40
GMAT ToolKit User Reviews Badge
Re: Please check my essay  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 04 Apr 2017, 02:54
Never seen toefl essay like this before.
Manager
Manager
avatar
S
Joined: 08 Oct 2016
Posts: 205
Location: United States
Concentration: General Management, Finance
GPA: 2.9
WE: Engineering (Telecommunications)
Re: Please check my essay  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 14 Apr 2017, 04:59
You need to work hard
Please consult a tutor
_________________

Got Q42,V17
Target#01 Q45,V20--April End

Re: Please check my essay &nbs [#permalink] 14 Apr 2017, 04:59
Display posts from previous: Sort by

Please check my essay

  new topic post reply Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  

Moderator: carcass

Events & Promotions

PREV
NEXT


GMAT Club MBA Forum Home| About| Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy| GMAT Club Rules| Contact| Sitemap

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group | Emoji artwork provided by EmojiOne

Kindly note that the GMAT® test is a registered trademark of the Graduate Management Admission Council®, and this site has neither been reviewed nor endorsed by GMAC®.