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07 Nov 2016, 15:48
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Can someone please evaluate my essay, this is my first attempt to write one. Any suggestion will be highly appreciated.
The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper:
“Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The above prompt argument is a faulty one and fails to provide evidence to support the assumption that reducing the price of Mercury newspaper – lower than Bugle will increase the number of readers. This argument is a weak one in many ways.
Firstly, the argument states that Bugle is “a lower priced” newspaper than Mercury. Thus to compete with such a feature Mercury feels that lowering that cost than Bugle will help then regain their lost 10,000 readers. The information provided is insufficient as there is no knowledge about the current cost of Mercury and as to how inexpensive is the Bugle compared to it. What if The Bugle is a few cents cheaper than Mercury. Then lowering the cost of Mercury will not give any boost to its reader numbers. Knowing the actual cost of both news papers will help bring some clarity.
Secondly,The argument is confident that an increase in reader will attract businesses to buy advertising space. There is no supporting data that throws light on how many businesses are advertised in The Bugle. It could be the case that businesses are not advertising in the Bugle instead are using other forms of media or digital adverting. The argument should provide some data as to how many businesses are advertised in The Bugle versus Mercury.
Thirdly, Mercury states that their circulation has declined by 10,000 readers and the reason behind it is the low priced newspaper The Bugle. There could be other reasons to decline in the number than just the entry of a new brand. There could be a possibility that the customers subscription has finished and the renewal fees is a lot or readers might not be liking the content presented in Mercury. Also, There is no information about the type of a newspaper The Bugle and Mercury are. Are they similar in the content and the areas of news they cover? The Bugle might be more of a social newspaper that Mercury thus appealing to the new generation. Hence some information about the kind of newspapers these two are is important knowledge.
Hence it can be concluded that the above argument is a faulty one due to lack of strong information.
The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper:
“Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The above prompt argument is a faulty one and fails to provide evidence to support the assumption that reducing the price of Mercury newspaper – lower than Bugle will increase the number of readers. This argument is a weak one in many ways.
Firstly, the argument states that Bugle is “a lower priced” newspaper than Mercury. Thus to compete with such a feature Mercury feels that lowering that cost than Bugle will help then regain their lost 10,000 readers. The information provided is insufficient as there is no knowledge about the current cost of Mercury and as to how inexpensive is the Bugle compared to it. What if The Bugle is a few cents cheaper than Mercury. Then lowering the cost of Mercury will not give any boost to its reader numbers. Knowing the actual cost of both news papers will help bring some clarity.
Secondly,The argument is confident that an increase in reader will attract businesses to buy advertising space. There is no supporting data that throws light on how many businesses are advertised in The Bugle. It could be the case that businesses are not advertising in the Bugle instead are using other forms of media or digital adverting. The argument should provide some data as to how many businesses are advertised in The Bugle versus Mercury.
Thirdly, Mercury states that their circulation has declined by 10,000 readers and the reason behind it is the low priced newspaper The Bugle. There could be other reasons to decline in the number than just the entry of a new brand. There could be a possibility that the customers subscription has finished and the renewal fees is a lot or readers might not be liking the content presented in Mercury. Also, There is no information about the type of a newspaper The Bugle and Mercury are. Are they similar in the content and the areas of news they cover? The Bugle might be more of a social newspaper that Mercury thus appealing to the new generation. Hence some information about the kind of newspapers these two are is important knowledge.
Hence it can be concluded that the above argument is a faulty one due to lack of strong information.
23 Nov 2016, 21:03
Kudos
Bookmarks
"The above prompt argument " - does not make sense.
"fails to provide evidence to support the assumption that reducing the price of Mercury newspaper – lower than Bugle will increase the number of readers. " - I think you meant conclusion.
"Mercury feels that lowering that cost than Bugle " - what cost are you referring to?
"regain their lost 10,000 readers" - its?
"The argument is confident that ..." - too colloquial.
"an increase in reader" - does not make any sense.
"It could be the case that businesses are not advertising in the Bugle instead are using other forms of media or digital adverting." - not a proper sentence. Adverting??
"other reasons to decline in the number" - ungrammatical.
"The Bugle might be more of a social newspaper that Mercury thus appealing to the new generation." - not a sentence.
I have highlighted a few grammatical errors in your essay. You need to allocate 3-5 mins to weed out grammar/spelling/punctuation errors before submitting the essay.
Also, you can improve the way your essay is structured. here are a few sample essays -
https://gmat.crackverbal.com/gmat-awa/
You can also add a few more points -
What if the bugle also reduces its price in response to Mercury's actions?
What if the population of the town has declined over the past 5 years?
What if the Bugle has better content?
What if reducing the price is unsustainable and leads to massive losses?
What if reducing the price affects Mercury's brand image?
What if the circulation of another newspaper that is priced higher than the Mercury has increased?
What if the gains in advertising revenue through increased circulation are less than the losses sustained due to loss of revenue through price reduction?
What if increased circulation would not attract advertisers as they find the readership of bugle to closely resemble their target audience?
What if there is a better strategy than reducing prices? for example - the paper can target new markets/cities; or maybe it can include more content for the same price.
"fails to provide evidence to support the assumption that reducing the price of Mercury newspaper – lower than Bugle will increase the number of readers. " - I think you meant conclusion.
"Mercury feels that lowering that cost than Bugle " - what cost are you referring to?
"regain their lost 10,000 readers" - its?
"The argument is confident that ..." - too colloquial.
"an increase in reader" - does not make any sense.
"It could be the case that businesses are not advertising in the Bugle instead are using other forms of media or digital adverting." - not a proper sentence. Adverting??
"other reasons to decline in the number" - ungrammatical.
"The Bugle might be more of a social newspaper that Mercury thus appealing to the new generation." - not a sentence.
I have highlighted a few grammatical errors in your essay. You need to allocate 3-5 mins to weed out grammar/spelling/punctuation errors before submitting the essay.
Also, you can improve the way your essay is structured. here are a few sample essays -
https://gmat.crackverbal.com/gmat-awa/
You can also add a few more points -
What if the bugle also reduces its price in response to Mercury's actions?
What if the population of the town has declined over the past 5 years?
What if the Bugle has better content?
What if reducing the price is unsustainable and leads to massive losses?
What if reducing the price affects Mercury's brand image?
What if the circulation of another newspaper that is priced higher than the Mercury has increased?
What if the gains in advertising revenue through increased circulation are less than the losses sustained due to loss of revenue through price reduction?
What if increased circulation would not attract advertisers as they find the readership of bugle to closely resemble their target audience?
What if there is a better strategy than reducing prices? for example - the paper can target new markets/cities; or maybe it can include more content for the same price.
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