Please rate my 2nd AWA- PS - it is really urgent as GMAT tommorow

Q- MOST COMPANIES WOULD AGREE THAT AS THE RISK OF PHYSICAL INJURY OCCURRING ON THE JOB INCREASES, THE WAGES PAID TO EMPLOYEES SHOULD ALSO INCREASE. HENCE IT MAKES FINANCIAL SENSE FOR EMPLOYEES TO MAKE THE WORKPLACE SAFER: THEY COULD THUS REDUCE THEIR PAYROLL EXPENSES AND SAVE MONEY.

ANS-
The author introduces a claim saying that the risk of incurring a physical injury is directly proportional to the wages paid to the workers and thus, it makes a sense on the part of the employers to make the workplace safer for the employees so that the risk of getting injured reduces, in-turn reducing the financial burden on the company. However, the author ignore certain essential facts that should be taken into consideration to substantiate the argument.

Firstly, the author does not indicate the type of industry/company or the particular official area he/she is targeting. Physical injuries can only be possible in an industry where major work is done manually and a small proportion is done mentally by the administration and management team. The area where the author wishes to implement this particular suggestion is the main factor to decide whether reducing the amount of the payroll would actually reduce the burden of the company.

Secondly, the author fails to mention that even if the work done is risky and the workers get injured from time to time, what is the severity and what are the types of in juries incurred during the normal operations. Do the employees get injured frequently? Is it a major injury or a minor injury? Can it be treated by giving the employees a basic first aid- training? The author should take a fresh and proper survey of these issues before jumping to any conclusion.

Lastly and one of the major flaw in argument is that the reduction in the wages of the workers might trigger the attrition rate in the employees. To worsen this, the good employees might join the competitors, thus drastically reducing the effectiveness of our company. The money saved on by reducing the payroll might turn out to be a fraction of the losses the company might bear if the above condition occurs.

The author should take above mentioned points into consideration before making a judgement. By taking a proper survey of the type, frequency and severity of the injuries have taken place in the past we can properly take an action. Secondly, also keep an eye on what actions the competitors have taken to curb these issues and will decreasing the payroll triggers the attrition rate. The argument can be made strong once these points are taken care of.