Please, rate my essay.

Yes, that's a pretty standard style of writing essays in English. That's the way I learned in high school, and even the 90 page thesis I wrote when I finished university used basically the same format: introduction, body, conclusion. The key difference between what you posted and the revised version that I posted in response is the structure of the body. I don't think you should have stray clusters of ideas here and there. Try to organize everything into a pair of cohesive paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one idea.

You won't get penalized for following this template. If you want to sound more sophisticated you can use the template but just use new phrases in place of the transitional words the templates suggest.

Okay I tried to use the template on this site and the question of the user below. Is it any better?
Q: People attend college or university for many different reasons (for
example - new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge).
Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your answer.

Answer:
Higher education is becoming more and more popular among young people. Do students go to college and university to develop in different directions or just for the seniors’ parties? I think that no one actually goes to college for the parties and everyone that is there is seeking some kind of self-improvement.
Many people go to college to specifically for new experiences. For example, students might go to college just to see if they can handle living on their own. Other people might go to some courses, without the idea of a career in that particular field, but only to increase their knowledge in the subject and see if they like it. Clearly there are many different possibilities for everyone.
But, the majority goes trough higher education with a plan to excel in an area and start a professional career. Higher school is essential for these people , because it gives the best possibly preparation for the career world. Many colleges and universities, even have programs with major corporations, that ensure that their most promising students have a job immediately after they finish studying or even before that.
Some people argue against higher education. They say that the career opportunities after graduation, don’t compare with the tuition costs. However, the statistics are on the side of the people who study, because they show that people who have ,at least finished college , get 50% higher salaries that those with only high school diplomas.
Many people go to colleges and universities for different reasons. If you have a clear idea of what you want to do with your life higher education is essential. But, even if you don’t colleges and universities are the perfect places to find out who you are and what you want, because of the many different experiences and possibilities they provide.

That's better. Just remember to put in clear paragraph breaks. That means to leave an empty line between your paragraphs. Sounds simple, but it does make your essay easier to read.

Here's a few notes and ideas:

-You're a little bit short. I counted 304 words. You should try for 350. You're likely capable of that.

-I like to introduce my reasons along with my main point in the introduction. Just one sentence for each reason, following your statement of the main point. Check out the beginning of this article for a sentence-by-sentence outline of how to do it. Yours is fine... but it could be a little better.

-You might want to consider writing only TWO body paragraphs and making them longer and more detailed. If you are writing three paragraphs you might not have time to flesh them out to the required length and level of detail required. This isn't a hard rule, but just a suggestion. If you are only capable of writing 300 or so words, you might want to consider this suggestion however.

-Your conclusion is okay, but I don't really like the "you" stuff (the "life advice" you hand out at the end). It just sounds a little awkward. You might want to avoid that sort of thing. Just stick to answering the question. Again, this isn't a rule but a suggestion.

Here's a few grammar and usage notes:

-"but instead to" sounds better than "but only to" in body paragraph 1

-Don't start a paragraph with a sentence that begins with "but." In this case you could just start with "The majority..."

-You misspelled "through."

-"Higher education" is correct. "Higher school" is wrong.

-Don't need the comma before "because it gives..."

-Don't need the comma before "even have programs..." You might want to read up on comma splices next time you are studying. It could help out a bit.

-Don't need the comma before "at least have finished..."

This grammar list is not comprehensive. There are other issues. I'm just trying to get you started.

Overall this is good work. Just take a look at the suggestions I've given and the corrections I've made and you should do fine on the test.

yes.. i agree with it..