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Please rate my essay (arts council example)

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New post 06 Mar 2019, 16:15
PROMPT:
The following appeared in a memorandum issued by a large city’s council on the arts:

“In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents said that they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years ago. During these past five years, the number of people visiting our city’s art museums has increased by a similar percentage. Since the corporate funding that supports public television, where most of the visual arts programs appear, is now being threatened with severe cuts, we can expect that attendance at our city’s art museums will also start to decrease. Thus some of the city’s funds for supporting the arts should be reallocated to public television.”

MY RESPONSE:

The argument that funds should be reallocated to public television in order to preserve attendance at city art museums lacks evidential support. Although the memorandum provides statistics, they do nothing to substantiate the core of the argument.

The premise for this argument is that the increased viewing of visual arts programs on public television stations is the cause of the increase in attendance at the art museums. However, the memorandum provides no evidence that this is true. It does mention that the increase in viewers and museum visitors have increased in similar amounts in the past five years, but this is only a correlation. To prove that a decrease in one will cause a decrease in the other, there must be a direct link shown between the two factors. Therefore, even if funding for the television programs is actually cut, it cannot be guaranteed that reallocating funds to support visual arts programs will affect the number of art museum visitors.

Based on the reasons given above, it is strongly recommended that the council find concrete evidence before making any decisions. Funds should only be reallocated if it is indeed found that supporting visual arts television programs directly affects art museum attendance.

Thanks in advance :)
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New post 16 Apr 2019, 04:32
It looks good! Seems like a great job!
I have been currently working on my own informative essay. Before starting working on it, I am going to do lots of research. Once it's written, I'll get it proofread by top edu services and post it here too to get your critique.
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New post 06 Aug 2019, 04:59
Looks awesome. It's a pretty awesome example.
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New post 08 Aug 2019, 22:13
I was always amazed by how assignment help uk writers are good at writing essays. Wanted to reach this level and at some point, I became quite close to it but still, I need to work a lot because as always, the last few steps are the hardest. At least for me, it always works this way...
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Re: Please rate my essay (arts council example)   [#permalink] 08 Aug 2019, 22:13
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