AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 3/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
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Prompt
The following appeared in a memorandum from the development director of the Largo Piano Company:
“The Largo Piano Company has long been known for producing carefully handcrafted, expensive pianos used by leading concert pianists. During the past few years, however, our revenues have declined; meanwhile, the Allegro Musical Instrument Company introduced a line of inexpensive digital pianos and then saw its revenues increase. In order to increase Largo’s sales and in fact outsell Allegro, we should introduce a line of digital pianos in a variety of price ranges. Our digital pianos would be likely to find instant acceptance with customers, since they would be associated with the prestigious Largo name.”
Response
The argument states that the Largo Piano Company, which produces handcrafted pianos has been facing a decline in revenue, whereas the Allegro Musical Instrument Company has seen a rise in revenue since introducing inexpensive digital pianos. The author thus claims that Largo can increase sales and consequently increase revenue by introducing digital pianos. Stated this way, the argument does not consider several factors on the basis of which an evaluation may be done. The argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear basis. Accordingly, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
Firstly, the argument does not provide any reasons for the decline in Largo's revenue in the past few years. It is possible that the quality of its product has reduced, leading to a negative brand image, due to which customers have been preferring Allegro. In such a situation, there is no guarantee that digital pianos introduced by Largo would see any traction. Without the necessary information required to understand the current situation, it would not be possible to accurately evaluate the argument. If it was explicitly stated by Largo that the cause of decline in revenue was the high fees of the handcrafted pianos, or that customers preferred digital pianos over handcrafted pianos, then it would have strengthened the argument.
Secondly, the argument readily assumes that digital pianos of Largo would readily be accepted by customers due to its prestigious name. However, it does not consider the impact of the digital pianos on the brand name. The argument does not mention whether any research has been conducted or any steps have been taken to ensure that the name of Largo is not negatively impacted by mass producing a product like digital pianos. For example, if it was stated that market research has been conducted which showed that customers would buy the digital pianos without any negative impact on the current sale of its handcrafted pianos, it would have provided evidence to evaluate the argument. However, without such research, it is possible that current customers of the handcrafted pianos may not appreciate Largo introducing digital pianos.
Thirdly, the argument states that Largo has been known for producing handcrafted and expensive pianos which are used by concert pianists. Thus, the target audience of Largo is not someone who plays the piano as a hobby, rather someone who pursues it as a career. It is a given that digital pianos are not suitable for leading concert pianists. The argument does not state whether Largo aims to pivot from its target audience of leading concert pianists to the general public interested in buying inexpensive digital pianos. It also does not specify the impact of potential pivot on the rest of its business.
Thus, the argument has not stated various factors required in order to make a judgement. For any argument to be evaluated, it is crucial to gather all the relevant facts and circumstances around the situation. If the argument had demonstrated that the decline in revenue is not due to a negative brand image or that introducing digital pianos will not affect the sales of the handcrafted pianos or the brand image of Largo, the argument would have been more convincing. However, in the absence of the same, it can be concluded that the argument is unconvincing and flawed.