Requesting Feedback on my AWA Essay!

Hello everyone!
I was practicing the Analytical Writing Assessment and wrote this essay. I would love to get your feedback and get suggestions on how to improve!
Thanks in advance

P.S: I did not make any modifications to the essay after the 30 minutes had ended.
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The following appeared in the opinion section of a national newsmagazine:
“To reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase will generate larger revenues and will also reduce the volume of mail, thereby eliminating the strain on the existing system and contributing to improved morale.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
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In the passage, the writer argues that the government should increase the price of postage stamps in order to improve the postal service. This is based on the premises that doing so will allow increase revenues from the postal service, will make the system more efficient by reducing the volume of mail and will improve the employee’s morale. However, on deeper analysis, it becomes apparent that certain aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.

One such flaw is that increasing the price of postage stamps will increase revenues. However, we do not know how the consumers will react to these price changes. What if the increase in the price deters consumers from continuing to send mail? This would decrease the company’s revenues if the loss of revenues resulting from the decrease in the volume of mail sent is higher than the price increase of postage stamps. In order to strengthen this argument, the governemnt should evaluate what price increase would allow the postal service to make more revenues without decreasing the volume of mail sent.

Moreover, the writer’s argument is incorrectly based on the assumption that the price increase of postage stamps would result in a smaller volume of mail, and would hence improve efficiency. However, the price increase might not be substantial enough to significantly reduce the volume of mail sent, and this would not lead to an improvement in efficiency. To overcome this flaw, it is essential to evaluate how the price change will affect the volume of mail sent.
In addition, the lack of efficiency in the current system might not be due to the currently large volume of mail. There might be other reasons, such as lack of training or inefficiencies in the way the large volume of mail is dealt with. In order to render this argument more valid, it is important to understand whether the current way of dealing with the mail is efficient, or whether certain actions need to be taken to make the employees more efficient.

The writer also wrongly assumes that the reduction in the volume of mail will lead to an improvement in employee morale. However, the reasons underlying this low employee morale might be due to other reasons, such as bad management practices. Indeed, what if managers were not treating the employees fairly, or providing them with the adequate training? A reduction in the volume of mail would not help improve employee morale. To render this argument more valid, the writer should demonstrate where the current low employee morale comes from.
After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. The recommendations in the passage show how the argument may be strengthened and made more logically sound.