shah8
gunsterThanks for your response. I have not seen any recs. This is a past supervisor from two years ago so for whatever reason, I can only remember the negatives from my work experience there though he has been very supportive of me. Kellogg's grid is different from others in that none other than the first point is exclusively "bad" which made me feel that in many ways, I fit into the "very good". Anyway, its done now. Nothing I can do about it
If you don't trust the recommender, ditch him. Realistically, if
you can only remember negatives, put yourself in his shoes; do you think he'd be able to write about stories that highlight your personality and accomplishments?
I'm not an admissions expert, nor do I know if one "3"-rating will kill your app (I don't think so). But here's what I did:
- Approach recommenders I trust. I didn't tell my employer in advance that I was going to apply to business school, so this one was important for me both from a professional and an application point of view. Even if your employer knows, I believe you need to trust your recommenders.
- Think of specific stories that add to the overall picture and aren't in my essays already. I tried to have a bird's-eye view here, because the application needs to tell a coherent picture. Additionally, I thought of the recommendations as great for stories that I didn't have enough space for in my essays and short answers; or stories that could have easily conveyed a braggy tone if I had told them myself.
- Discuss both my stories AND my career goals with my recommenders. After giving them some time time to brainstorm by themselves, I shared with my recommenders the stories including traits I thought they highlighted. I also specifically asked them if they were uncomfortable with anything and in one case, we did end up with one other story. Nonetheless, they were both happy to have gotten material. That's why I believe you need to trust your recommenders; you need to have candid discussions with them.
- Periodically check back and ask them if they have questions or need support. Both of my recommenders ended up asking me about the grid this way. Similar to the stories, I gave them traits that I thought were strengths and weaknesses and asked if they agreed. They had their opinions and re-ordered it, so I think the two grids were different yet conveyed the same picture. Again, I believe you need to trust your recommender enough to candidly discuss this.
I believe I made myself clear that I thought of my recommenders as trusted partners. While, again, I'm not an admissions expert, in your position I would try to explain your recommender that this isn't a performance review but rather a support letter in your favor and ask if he had any concerns. If so, ditch him. He'll understand (and probably be relieved anyway.)