GMAT Question of the Day: Daily via email | Daily via Instagram New to GMAT Club? Watch this Video

It is currently 22 Feb 2020, 00:16

Close

GMAT Club Daily Prep

Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track
Your Progress

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.

Close

Request Expert Reply

Confirm Cancel

Please critique on my AWA

  new topic post reply Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  
Author Message
Intern
Intern
avatar
B
Joined: 02 Aug 2019
Posts: 8
Location: India
Concentration: Finance, General Management
GMAT 1: 520 Q41 V20
GPA: 2.8
WE: Research (Mutual Funds and Brokerage)
CAT Tests
Please critique on my AWA  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 10 Dec 2019, 07:11
The following appeared in a proposal from the development office at Platonic University:
"Because Platonic University has had difficulty in meeting its expenses over the past three years, we need to find new ways to increase revenues. We should consider following the example of Greene University, which recently renamed itself after a donor who gave it $100 million. If Platonic University were to advertise to its alumni and other wealthy people that it will rename either individual buildings or the entire university itself after the donors who give the most
money, the amount of donations would undoubtedly increase."

The proposal from the development office of Platonic University narrates a proposal to increase revenues significantly to meet expenses and hence cites a method employed by Greene University to raise $100 million. The development office plans to use the same technique to raise revenue. This argument is flawed and misses a lot of factors necessary to build a logical comparison between the two universities.

First, the development office of Platonic University is keen to employ a method already successful in Greene University, but the argument provides us with no insights to prove that both Greene University and Platonic Universities are the same. This leaves us to an understanding that X is not Y. For example- If we consider Platonic University to be a new university with only 2 years of establishment and Greene University as a well-established university with rich alumni, then we can disapprove of the conclusion as the plan will not be a success. As this argument leaves many questions unanswered, we are not sure whether a plan successful for one university can be successful for others.

Second, the argument fails to build a correlation between increasing revenues and getting funded, as both factors play a completely different role. Funding is a one-time investment and it is neither responsible for increasing long term revenue nor decrease the expenses of the university. For example - It is possible that Platonic University might be suffering from mismanagement and so is not able to meet the expenses and in that case, even the funding won't help as the university will still have difficulty in managing the expenses and the amount will fade away in the short period of time.

Finally, the argument leaves many questions unanswered such as - Will the Platonic University recover itself from the burden of excessive expenses and become profitable by a one-time investment? What unstated assumptions have been made by the development office to conclude that Platonic University can be compared to Greene University? Does a method which applies to one university can apply to others?

This argument is therefore logically flawed and relies on false assumptions and considers that X and Y are always the same and are interchangeable factors. This argument also leaves many questions unanswered and can be strengthened by knowing whether the method applied by Greene University is universal as a whole and can provide Platonic University with the appropriate amount of funds. We also require information about the reasons for the university not meeting expenses and can it be improved in the long run.
Retired Moderator
User avatar
V
Status: enjoying
Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 5312
Location: India
WE: Education (Education)
Re: Please critique on my AWA  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 11 Dec 2019, 02:40
Top Contributor
Videep
Nice job; congratulations.
PFA a review of your awa.
Wishes and regards
Attachments

videep awa.docx [15.72 KiB]
Downloaded 19 times

To download please login or register as a user


_________________
GMAT SC is not about just knowing either grammar or meaning. It is about applying your knowledge in the Test Hall, the art of GMAT SC-- If you want to learn that art, then either call +91 9884544509 or contact <newnaren@gmail.com>
Retired Moderator
User avatar
V
Status: enjoying
Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 5312
Location: India
WE: Education (Education)
Re: Please critique on my AWA  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 11 Dec 2019, 02:51
1
Top Contributor
Bunuel
I think this posting is in the wrong forum. Can you please transfer it to the correct forum?
_________________
GMAT SC is not about just knowing either grammar or meaning. It is about applying your knowledge in the Test Hall, the art of GMAT SC-- If you want to learn that art, then either call +91 9884544509 or contact <newnaren@gmail.com>
Manager
Manager
avatar
B
Joined: 14 Nov 2018
Posts: 89
Location: United Arab Emirates
GMAT 1: 590 Q42 V30
GPA: 2.6
Re: Please critique on my AWA  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 22 Jan 2020, 00:25
daagh Can you please provide a critique on this essay?

Traffic in the central city is the number one complaint of our residents, so I urge you to consider this solution. We should invest in doubling our bus service and adding a light rail system, giving more options to those who don't want to drive through the city. Furthermore, we should make public transportation more accessible by reducing the fees to ride. With less traffic people will be more productive, and with higher productivity comes higher revenue and more taxes, so the system will likely pay for itself.

While the mayor makes some relevant points in his proposal with regards to addressing the core issue of traffic in the city. His suggestion to alleviate the traffic problem by doubling bus service and adding a light rail system may at first sight seem like a good solution, there are a number of issues with the proposed solution. In addition, the plan certainly opens itself to criticism once the mayor suggests to reduce the fees on public transport while funding the investments in new bus services, light rail system and subsidies with increased revenues resulting from productivity.

In terms of passengers per vehicle, the bus services and light rail system definitely make a sound case for traffic reduction because of the assumed reduction in cars that will follow. However, isn't this a case of replacing cars with buses? How would more buses and less cars have an impact on the traffic situation? There needs to be more analysis around the impact on average speed on the streets with the replacement of cars with buses for the people opting for public transport. When compared to buses, the light rail systems are definitely a better option though come at a much larger cost.

This brings us to the point of financing such proposed investments and subsidies. The mayor's proposal makes a simplistic assumption that with less traffic people would be more productive without providing any evidence. Will average travel time for those commuting to the city be less on public transport than in cars? Even if that were to be the case, the link between productivity, revenue and higher taxes is unclear. The number of disposable hours would increase but this may not necessarily translate into more work from the employee, which in turn doesn't translate into higher revenue in all cases.

The mayor's attempt to propose a viable solution for the city's traffic problems seems plausible at first sight. A deeper analysis into the cause and effect relationship reveals a number of inconsistencies in the transport solution as well as the funding for such solution. The mayor is relying on untangible to pay for the tangible why there needs to be a better mechanism to raise funding - for instance tolls at motorways, public transport fees.
Retired Moderator
User avatar
V
Status: enjoying
Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 5312
Location: India
WE: Education (Education)
Re: Please critique on my AWA  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 24 Jan 2020, 01:00
Top Contributor
I am away from my home for a week. I will do it on return

Posted from my mobile device
_________________
GMAT SC is not about just knowing either grammar or meaning. It is about applying your knowledge in the Test Hall, the art of GMAT SC-- If you want to learn that art, then either call +91 9884544509 or contact <newnaren@gmail.com>
Manager
Manager
avatar
B
Joined: 14 Nov 2018
Posts: 89
Location: United Arab Emirates
GMAT 1: 590 Q42 V30
GPA: 2.6
Re: Please critique on my AWA  [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 25 Jan 2020, 04:59
daagh no worries - I have already sat the exam. Thanks anyway.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: Please critique on my AWA   [#permalink] 25 Jan 2020, 04:59
Display posts from previous: Sort by

Please critique on my AWA

  new topic post reply Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  

Moderator: DisciplinedPrep






cron

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group | Emoji artwork provided by EmojiOne