abhiarpana
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they
become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for
five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of
food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our
long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
This argument is substantially flawed. -- Are you planning on starting your passage by saying this? It might help to start off by saying the Argument states etc...
The argument presents inconclusive information, offering dubious support, and from this -- get rid of from this and start with and draws think parallel - presents & draws draws unreasonably far-reaching conclusions
Most conspicuously, the argument doesn’t provide any qualitative figure of how much the costs has gone down. To analyse the significance of any cost reduction, it is imperative to know the quantity. Here the figures provided are not comparable. The prices for five day service and a one day service for two different time periods can’t be compared to conclude that the costs have reduced over time.
Secondly the argument assumes that the cost of processing went down because of the companies experience. This is not completely accurate. There are a several reasons for the processing costs to go down. For example, if the raw-materials costs or the wage of labourers has gone down, then this can also contribute to a reduction in the processing costs. There is no evidence provided in the passage that the reduction in costs from1970 to 1984 occurred due to the companies’ better experience . Hence, it’s too far fetched to conclude that a long experience will enable the company to minimise the costs and maximise profits. Had the argument provided further details that asserts that the experience of a company directly contributes in reducing the prices then the argument would have made much more sense. For example with details such as due to experience the company learned to operate the machineries at the best suited parameters, or that due to its experience the company is able to procure raw materials at a lower cost from its suppliers, the argument could have stood on it’s own.
Further to state the relation between the cost reduction of color film processing with experience and extrapolating the same inferences to food processing is outright fallacious. The argument took the liberty of applying the same principle of color film processing to food processing without providing any support data. There is no reason to believe that food processing industry follows the same market conditions and fluctuations of that of the film processing industry.
Because the argument leaves out several key issues, it is not sound or persuasive. If it included the items above , provided logical comparisons , and substantiated with accurate examples , then the argument would have been more thorough and convincing.
I'd say that your response is dense. Good writing skills but poor organization which leads to almost no logical flow. You need to simplify each point, and make a logical jump from one point to another. Currently it sounds like one convoluted thought.... the reader has to be able to understand the thought process.
I like the reasoning, you provide some good arguments but you gotta spend 5 minutes at the end to organize your thoughts so the reader can understand the passage in one reading.
Kudos if it helps!