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Please review my AWA

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Joined: 28 Jun 2017
Posts: 7
Schools: ISB '20 (A)
GMAT 1: 720 Q50 V36
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Please review my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 02 Jul 2017, 11:31
Q. Parents, if you need a summer camp for your children look no further than Federville Farms. In a recent survey, Federville Farms ranked first in both overall camper satisfaction and in food quality, and second in the variety of outdoor activities. Federville Farms has been family owned and operated for over forty years, so you have nothing to worry about when it comes to your child's safety, and it employs more Red Cross certified lifeguards than any other camp in the state. If you seek the best camp experience for your children, Federville Farms is the best choice you can make.

The argument covers most of the aspect that a parent looks for before sending his kid to the summer camp. Parents are majorly concerned about the safety of the kid and about the food they'll eat, both of which are assured to be the best in the summer camp at Federville Farms. The second thing the parents are concerned about are the things his kid will learn at the camp. Summer camp in Federville Farms offers variety of outdoor activities for the kids to learn. The argument, however, fails to address certain things that are important for child's learning and giving him / her the best camp experience.

Firstly, the argument does not talk about the trainers or the teachers at the camp. Simply having variety of outdoor activities will not help a child, unless he is trained well in them. Secondly, not all child prefer outdoor activities, some of the kids prefer playing indoor games (like solving Sudoku, word problems etc.) which are crucial for the development of a kid. The argument doesn’t talk about the indoor activities offered at summer camp in Federville. Thirdly, the argument fails to talk about the rules and regulations followed at the camp - whether the kids are taught basic manners and discipline or not, whether all activities are included in their schedule or not etc. Such things are equally important in providing the best experience to the kid.

Thus, though the argument talks about the facilities offered to the kid at Summer Camp at Federville farms, it fails to address how well those facilities are utilised in a day to day life of a kid at the camp. It also, fails to talk about the learning each kid will receive at the camp and how well will he be groomed. Thus, it's not only what the camp offers matters but also the individual training that a kid receives is important.
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Re: Please review my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 02 Jul 2017, 21:44
Hi sanskriti20,

You would likely receive more of a response if you posted in the AWA forum here:

https://gmatclub.com/forum/analytical-w ... t-awa-144/

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Re: Please review my AWA   [#permalink] 02 Jul 2017, 21:44
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