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Please rate my AWA

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Joined: 06 Nov 2016
Posts: 105
Location: India
GMAT 1: 710 Q50 V36
GPA: 2.8
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Please rate my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 09 Apr 2017, 00:05
"Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker's consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker's consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee"

The argument above in asserting that the consulting firm should consider transferring its investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee seems fairly convincing at first. However, on a closer examination, a number of a flaws become evident. The most pivotal amongst its shortcomings are its inability to address assumptions and lack of supporting information.
Firstly, the author fails to establish a proportionate relationship between the increase of coffee consumption and decrease of cola consumption. It is not necessary that the amount of increase in the consumption of coffee is higher than or equal to the amount of decrease in the consumption of cola. The author also does not also provide any statistical data to understand these trends.
Secondly, the argument fails to appropriately address the increasing population of people over the next 20 years. There is a possibility of new born children turning twenty and therefore consuming more cola than coffee over this time period. The author also does not establish a causal relationship between the increase in number of older adults and the changing demand patterns of coffee and cola. The argument can be well reasoned if the author discussed these trends citing examples and data available from the past.
Next, it is not clear if the past 40 years is an appropriate time frame to establish a trend and the situation before the past 40 years is not explained. The argument can be improved if more historical and past data were available and analyzed.
Lastly, the solution provided by the author is very temporary and ambiguous as there is no statistical or quantitative data provided to understand the firm's investments. It is given that the firm is an investment and financial consulting firm, but the solution provided is based on qualitative assumptions and without any quantitative data back-up. The argument can be improved if more statistical data were provided.
The argument in its current state contains a considerable number of flaws. Had the argument addressed these flaws, it would have been difficult to refute this argument. Hence, it can be concluded that currently the argument is nothing but a hasty generalization with overreaching assumptions and deficient information.
User avatar
Joined: 03 Jan 2016
Posts: 102
Location: India
GMAT 1: 640 Q49 V29
GMAT 2: 760 Q51 V41
GPA: 3.2
Re: Please rate my AWA  [#permalink]

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New post 09 Apr 2017, 09:39
"a number of a flaws"
"inability to address assumptions", I would phrase this a little differently. Maybe you'd like to say that the assumptions are flawed or open to criticism.
"also does not also"
to "help" understand these trends, or something of that sort. Just "understand" does not work here.
"can be 'made' well-reasoned"
Overall, I think some of the points raised are really good, but they could have been phrased much better. Also, please allow some time for editing the essay towards the end.

How ZenYogi got from 640 to 760

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Re: Please rate my AWA &nbs [#permalink] 09 Apr 2017, 09:39
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