I broke the GMAT test software

GMATClubbers let me tell you a story about the day I broke the GMAT. See, I was on my fifth try with the GMAT. I apparently was not only a slow learner, but also completely oblivious on GMAT matters. The first time I took the test back in 2014, I looked at the official study material and thought "this is easy." Coupled with the attitude that standardized tests are not a measure of my intelligence, I confidently walked into the testing center to take the test and promptly got handed a pink slip by the test makers.

I was dumbfounded, I didn't expect to get a perfect score, but, I also did not expect to get such low score. It was in the post-GMAT funk that I stumbled upon GMATClub. While there were many important things that occurred between that first test and this past fifth test, including travels that took me out of country, the joys of unemployment, underemployment, loss of self-worth, an engagement followed by me breaking it off, along with all the psychological cliffhangers that prompted me to keep taking this test over and over again, I believe it best to get to the part about me breaking the GMAT.

After prepping for the test with the intention to score in the 700-740 range, and honing in on those particular skill sets this fifth time around, I walked into the testing center with a bit of optimism and also a plane ticket to Latin America as a way to celebrate the upcoming test day victory. Suffice it to say I never made it to the prompt screen, not even through the registration process. Apparently the testing center experienced a catastrophic technical difficulty and cancelled all tests for the day. My study preparations were so on point that the GMAT test software decided it was better to go broke then be subjugated to my GMAT ninja skills. (Let me at least get a laugh out of this, because I realize this test is a waste if your mindset is that its the end all, so i choose to keep it in perspective, important but more about the qualities and characteristics of the individual, too new-agey-hippie-liberally, don't care how you judge me.) The test center administrators even were talking about contacting future test takers to inform them that they will not be taking the test (this is important only that my study-buddy and upcoming travel partner was slated to take his test in a matter of two days at the same testing location).

Its insane. I should be angry. I honestly am at a loss for words, but I can't be angry, that doesn't seem to provide any sort of resolution. Besides, I am incredibly humbled by the whole process, now in its third year, and fifth try; humility and anger are like oil and water, they just don't work well together.

I had been working toward this date, looking forward to being freed from my obsessive compulsive attitude that had consumed me for the past three years in relations to this test and scoring in the 700's. I honestly have sacrificed a lot to keep pursuing this score. I often lie at night thinking that this is utterly insane. Buy I knew I could lock it in and I had gotten to the point where I was wiling to accept whatever the score outcome was today. But here I am left with a cliffhanger- a voucher in one hand to reschedule the test and a plane ticket in the other hand, the two of which only implies that I won't really enjoy my month long jaunt through South America. But you know what, at this point I want to reflect on the fact that I have time to further hone in on my skills, get some of those tricker issues under my belt. Heck, maybe even utilize more of the GMATClub features that I haven't fully taken advantage of, maybe I might be less of a lurker and more of a engager... we'll see.

So as I sit down to write this, surrounded by my clothes and luggage crying to be packed, my trusty GMAT study materials have found another way to rake up some more frequent flyer miles (this will be the third, fourth, and fifth countries they will travel to) on a trip to South America. Yay...